Aleks Trebek Gets His Magic Powers From Answering Questions (And Other Stuff I Learned While Watching A Jeopardy Taping)

Yesterday I spent the day on the set of Jeopardy. My buddy Charles used his magnificent brain to win his way into a contestant spot on the show and invited me to be his guest. This was an exciting prospect because it would mean I could finally get an up-close glance at the Trebek-Bot that replaced the REAL Alex Trebek six years ago when he mysteriously shaved his trademark mustache. You see I always believed that the mustache was the source of his powers, his Trebek-ne-se-qua, if you will. What I learned at yesterdays tapings was shocking and proved I couldn't have been more wrong.

After spending six and a half hours watching them tape five episodes of Trebek's 26-year running game show, Jeopardy, I have come to come to the conclusion that Alex Trebek is not a robot.  In fact all those years we assumed his mustache was the source of his power we've been wrong. You see, when you sit down for a Jeopardy taping after the initial warnings about not taking pictures and not shouting out answers at the contestants, the audience is informed that, "Mr. Trebek loves to answer questions. So if you've ever had a question for Mr. Trebek now's the time to ask. He'll stop between every commercial break to answer your questions,"  by the studio announcer. Then Trebek comes out and reiterates, "During the commercial breaks I'm going to want questions. Think up some great questions for me to answer. I'll answer anything."

That's when I started to figure it out: he needs our questions. His whole career, practically his life, has revolved around questions. Shit, the whole point of his game show is for people to tell him the question to the answer he provides. Maybe that was enough at first but it seems like whatever energy he was gaining from just the show questions has dissipated. Either that or his thirst for question has increased over the years. Whatever the reasons it's clear to me now that he thrives on these questions.

Maybe you had to be there to understand how insistent he was that we keep coming up with questions to really understand how I could come to this conclusion. In the six hours I was there he reminded the audience at least twice an hour to, "come up with some good questions". It got to the point where it was starting to seem obsessive and became noticeable to people other than me. I heard murmurs in the audience posing the very theory I'm sharing with you. "Why does he need us to ask him all these questions," and, "he's like a question vampire" started to get whispered through the crowd.

At first I thought perhaps this was just a bit they'd do for the first few commercial breaks but he actually answered questions for the entire fucking day! From what I can tell the quality of the questions doesn't matter. The ones I heard ranged from lame, "How long have you been working as a game show host" to bizarre, "what's your favorite kind of dancing" but he answer them all with wild abandon. When there was a lull in the taping Aleks would look to the audience and say, "Remember, I need questions during the break."

It was surreal.

As far as the rest of the taping went here's the rundown of a day on Jeopardy:

• Arrive and get checked in. Then there's a looooong wait that isn't over until the annoying, over-empowered, security guard does a twenty-two minute stand-up bit that he clearly wrote himself. 
• We're herded into the studio on the impressive yet under guarded Sony Studios Lot. I'm serious about it being under patrolled. I strolled around in between tapings, almost getting run over by a cowboy on a bicycle, throughout the lot and was never once stopped.
• Then there is the previously mentioned "ask questions" speech. Then the taping begins. 
• During the taping we were asked to applaud but not to hoot and holler because "Jeopardy is a bit classier than all that." 
• The taping was looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong. Surprisingly they stop several times during each show to verify answers/ questions that perhaps were unclear. Large stretches of downtime allowed for Trebek to field more random questions while the researchers did their fact checking. (it is possible that all the breaks were manufactured just to allow Trebek more time sucking questions from the audience like some kind of enigmatic-vampire but I don't want to start any baseless rumors)
• My friend Charles did really, really, really, impressively good. I won't spoil the outcome but I will tell you the episode airs on January 4th, 2010 and that you should watch it. 
• They gave away prizes at the end of the taping. 
• The prizes were copies of ESPN Jeopardy Board Game. Useless to a non-sports fan like myself. 

Overall it was a fun way to spend a day but not something I'd sit through again (unless I was a guest, which I won't be because I think I'd choke under pressure and make a fool of myself). Alex Trebek is a really nice guy and couldn't have been friendlier (and despite my suggestions he might be a robot or a question-succubus, my lawyers are asking me to clarify that he's just a normal man). I was proud of my friend and thought it was a pretty neat way to spend a day. If you're ever in the Los Angeles area I suggest you get tickets to the show and help feed Alex Trebek so that he may live FOREVER.

NOTE: Once again my lawyers have asked me to remind you that he is NOT gaining life-force from your questions or his studio audience and that he never has been a robot (as far as we know).