Hollywood Are You Retarded?

Seriously.

If you were anywhere on the internet today then I’m sure you heard about the official release of pictures from the Karate Kid remake. If not you can go: HERE

Looks okay, right? Sure why not. Here’s the part that has me confused:

Jaden Smith plays Dre, a skateboarding video game buff who is forced to move to China after his single mother (Taraji P. Henson) is forced to transfer to the China for work. Of course, unable to speak Chinese, Dre finds it hard to settle in, and gets beat up by the local bully. Jackie Chan plays Mr. Han (the Mr. Miyagi character), a maintenance man who spots Dre’s black-eye and offers to teach him both martial arts and Chinese, so he can defend against the students of Li Quan Ha’s Fighting dragon school of Kung-Fu. Directed by Harald Zwart (The Pink Panther 2) and written by Chris Murphy and Steven Conrad (The Pursuit of Happyness). The Karate Kid will hit theaters on June 11th 2010.

What’s wrong with the above? Can you spot it? Let me help.

Karate is from Japan.

Jaden Smith plays Dre, a skateboarding video game buff who is forced to move to China after his single mother (Taraji P. Henson) is forced to transfer to China for work.

So then he meets Jackie Chan who is also from China. Who knows Kung-Fu, the martial art from CHINA. What does Jackie Chan do?

offers to teach him both martial arts and Chinese, so he can defend against the students of Li Quan Ha’s Fighting dragon school of Kung-Fu.

That’s right…teaches him to fight against a KUNG-FU school.

Now I understand the need to remake movies (built in audience, name recognition) but at least TRY  to make some fucking sense while doing it.

48 Random Questions

Found originally via http://jrsblahg.blogspot.com/

I saw this on the site listed above and since I spent most of today away from my computer I figured I’d answer these questions and post this bad-boy as today’s blog post. So without further ado I present:

48 Random Questions

1) Who is your favorite television celebrity from the days of Black and White?
               Lucille Ball. That’s a no-brainer.
2) What is your favorite volume of the Encyclopedia Brittanica?
              M because it was the thickest.
3) If your life was a reality show, what would it be titled?
              Hollywood is Sad
4) What Biblical character would you be? 
              John The baptist because that’s the part I played in Godspell at Frenchwoods Summer
5) What is your favorite minority holiday?
               Passover
6) If you were a totem pole what animal would you be and where would you be positioned?
               Monkey in the middle.
7) Curtains or blinds? 
               Curtains, black-out curtains
8) What comes to mind when you smell dirty socks? 
                 That it’s well past time to do my laundry.
9) If you could choose any celebrity to be your roommate who would you choose? 
                Kevin Smith because we both like comics and movies and are kinda lazy
10) You invent a smoothie. What is in it? 
                Peanut Butter, banana, and chocolate. (you didn’t say it had to be healthy) 
11) If you were part of a balcony would you be the railing or the lounge chair? 
                This question is retarded. The railing cause who wants a bunch of ass on you all day?
12) If you could only use one cooking utensil for the rest of your life which utensil would it be? 
                Tongs.
13) What is the most ridiculous dance craze you've ever been a part of? 
                The Electric Slide or the “Shark-Dance” 
14) If you could name a hockey team what would you name it? 
                 The Texas Melters.
15) What's one invention you can't believe we didn't have until after landing a man on the moon?
                The internet.
16) What is the funniest pattern for a button up tourist shirt? 
                Dead babies.
17) If the world were backwards and animals owned humans, what kind of animal would you want to be your master? 
             Monkey.
18) If teleportation was possible to where would you most often teleport? 
              Megan Fox’s Shower.
19) What five items are a necessity in your hurricane survival kit?
              Water, a bong, weed, tissue (I blow my nose a lot) machete.
20) If your finger could dispense one condiment what condiment would you dispense? 
              Honey Mustard 
21) What is your ideal cracker flavor? 
               is Ritz a flavor? 
22) If you suddenly had wheels for feet what is the first thing you would do?
               scream, “What the fuck happened to my feet??”
23) One celebrity who is famous for a reason I still haven't discovered is Everyone on the Hills.
24) What is your favorite 1980's cartoon? 
                Super Friends 
25) What was your favorite after school show? 
                Tiny Tunes and Animaniacs.
26) What do you believe a training bra is training for? 
                This is stupid. Next question. 
27) If you could put a zipper on any article of clothing what article would you choose?
                 NEXT!
28) If you could scream anything at a bad driver what would it be? 
                 What do you mean “if”? (the answer is Fuck-Nozzle) 
29) What's your favorite animal that often appears in Native American folklore? 
                   Coyote.
30) If you could only use floor lamps for lighting your home for the rest of your life, how tall would you like the lamp to be? 
                   Six foot.
31) If you owned a cereal company what current cereal would you purchase to sell as your own?
                   Cheerios.
32) Money is no longer an object for you. What country do you buy? 
                   Jamaica.
33) If you could shrink any person and carry them in your pocket who would you shrink?
                   A hooker.
34) If people's knees bent the other direction what design would you give to chairs? 
               Who came up with these questions and how can I punch them?
35) You've been assigned to clean up an abandoned landfill. What's the first thing you do? 
                  Fill it in with concrete 
36) If you could make a pillow out of any material what would you choose? 
                   Boobs.
37) If you started your own airline what would you name it?
                   Sedation Air
38) To what one city would your airline refuse to fly? 
                   Miami 
39) If flowers weren't the norm for romanticism what item would you choose to symbolize love? 
                   Tacos.
40) How much midriff is too much? 
                   I’m keeping the answer answer the last guy wrote: “Depends on the midriff”
41) If money didn't exist what would you use for currency? 
                    Body Hair because I’d always have some.
42) If you were stuck on a bus with the Brady Bunch and they insisted on singing and taking requests what song would you request in hopes that it would be so good they couldn't follow their own act and would stop singing. 
                Come On Get Happy 
43) If male and female weren't the only two sexes what would you call the third and what would make them different?
                    Michael Jackson. (Oooooh BURN!)
44) You invent a new shape. What do you call it? 
                     Pee-poo Jim-Jam.
45) If your life mirrored that of "Friends" which recurring character would you want to show up for sweeps week? 
                      The hanukkah armadillo.
46) If you could eat at any television eatery which one would it be? 
                     Monk’s Cafe (cue Seinfeld music) 
47) If you could change your name to anything, to what would you change it?
                       Cletus.
48) If you could change any past decision in your life would you? 
                         Nah, that’s how paradox’s start…

Turn Off The Lights Before You Go

My thoughts and prayers are with you tonight. Words really cannot express feelings in times like these and I almost feel cheap even attempting to write something right now but this is where the Muse has guided me so…

We may never know why things happen the way they do. Generally the mysteries of the Universe don’t reveal themselves. Everyday people die seemingly without meaning or cause and the people left behind search for something to tell themselves. They look for some hidden meaning behind it all or some clue that might help them rationalize the irrational and put everything back into perspective. Perhaps the answer is there all along and much simpler than we imagine.

A train in Russia derails and many people die. The people left behind, the ones who have now “lost someone”, might never know why Fate guided Death’s hand to that particular train on that particular day.

A sportswriter takes in own life. The reasons behind this final act might seem obvious to some but not to those closest to him.

A truck driver is dead after his pick-up truck is found submerged in a creek. Police believe an underlining medical condition may have caused the accident but I guarantee his family will still, in their grief, continuously ask “why?”

A business report, 52, succumbs to a long-running heart-related illness. His family and friends were all aware of this condition yet none of them expected the end to happen so soon, so swiftly.

Why?

Life is hard. Life isn’t always fun. The world is mean and cruel, often worse to some than to others. We complain and bitch. We hate and grumble. Then something happens. Something sudden. Something worse than the mundane occurrences we find ourselves annoyed with and suddenly life has meaning. Suddenly,  in spite of our usual protests, life is important and needs to be cherished.

I’m as guilty as anyone else of taking it all for granted. I curse the day I was born maybe more than I should. I think about how hard and cruel life can be and secretly day-dream that it would be easier not being here at all but the reality is I’m grateful for every breath I take and even more grateful for the every breath the people I love take.

 

A girl dies in a hospital.

A friend tries to hold back tears.

The Muse guides me to my desk and demands I write. I don’t know what will come out and I don’t know why I’m compelled but I obey.

Many people died today that I never met but through the eyes of people close to me I can see the pain death causes. I can feel it like a kick to the gut. So here I am writing about nothing and everything all in the same breath.

Find someone you love. Tell them. Hold them. Then hold them just a little bit longer. Life is short and delicate.

You’re in my thoughts and my heart. You know who you are.

THANKSGIVING DAY EXTRAVAGANZA!

Yes my friends it’s that time of year when American’s across this Nation get together with their friends and families to stuff themselves past the point of comfort. We watch parades on the TV and marvel at the great technology that allows us to make enormous replicas of our favorite cartoon characters and then fill them with hot air and drag them around our favorite major metropolis. There are many traditions on this day but none of them do I like more than explaining what we’re thankful for.

I’m sure your family does something similar: Everyone is sitting around the table covered in gravy and the remains of some helpless bird when the head of the family (in my case it was Mom who would always start) looks around and asks, “So, what is everyone thankful for this year?”

Since this is my first year far enough away from my family that i can’t drive home for the holiday I figured I’d still play along at home. So, Mom, if you read this, print it out and read the following when you go around the table this year:

What am I thankful for? There’s actually a lot but when I start to go over it all in my head I realized that all the things I have to be thankful for came down to two people, my parents. Without them I wouldn’t exist. I’m not just talking about them doin’ it and having Baby Shawn. I’m talking about their unending support and unconditional love. I think I was a good kid but I know I wasn’t easy. I never took the path of least resistance with anything I’ve done. If it was a mountain to climb I somehow found myself at the bottom of it. I picked a career that makes no promises. Sure, potentially i could make it big as a writer/creator and live the good life but let us be honest, those chances are slim. Still, my parents never stop encouraging me to follow my dream. They continuously give me emotional and monetary support whenever I need it. The latter being a big deal because they are by no means rich. I tell them how much they mean to me as often as I can but still feel it’s not enough. Without them I don’t think I would be the person I am. I wouldn’t have the confidence it takes to face daily rejection as a writer. I wouldn’t have the sense of humor it takes to stay light even when faced with the insurmountable debt I face because I’m out of work. I wouldn’t have made it though some of the dark times in my life over the past two years without the foundation they built within me. Maybe it’s because I’m so far away that I’m feeling so mushy (and I apologize if this isn’t the silly diatribe you were expecting to read)but I needed to get this out there. My parents, and I think ALL parents, are crucial to who I am. A lot of my friends have nice parents and a lot of them don’t but no one has parents like mine. They are one of a kind and I wouldn’t trade them in for anything. I’d say that 60% of my will to survive and make a place for myself out here in LA-LA Land comes from my desire to finally be able to show them it was all worth it. To thank them in front of the world for being the greatest two people to ever fuck and make a baby would make me just about as happy as i could ever imagine feeling. Since I haven’t made it to that level yet this blog will have to suffice. So, one last time, thanks Mom and Dad for literally everything I have and will get in this life.

As for the rest of you I’m thankful to have any readers at all let alone the support that I’ve gotten over the last few months. My new friends on twitter, my Reel Big Fish friends who came for that article but have stuck around and my facebook friends who put up with my stream of conscious updates and constant shilling of my blog I owe you all a ton of gratitude. It really means a lot to me that you care and that I can provide you with some kind of semi-entertaining content.

On that note I’ll urge you all to go eat a shit load of food, get really sleepy and, right before your eyes roll up in your head and you drift off into a tryptophan-induced coma, find the person (or people) who mean the most to you and thank them from the bottom of your heart for being there.

Also try not to get killed on Black Friday. :)

 

I’ll be back Monday with the usual chicanery and nonsense or as my buddy Dave recently said, “To blog the fuck out of shit.”

Happy Thanksgiving everybody.

Cowa-FUCKING-bunga: The Ninja Turtles Are Back!

What am I thankful for? Quite a bit actually and I’ll be discussing it in length tomorrow in my special FIRST ANNUAL THANKSGIVING DAY EXTRAVABLOGZA™! In the meantime let me tell you about something amazing I saw today.

That’s right it’s the new Teenage Mutant ninja Turtles movie, subtitled, “FOREVER”, and it was mind blowingly awesome. I want to tell you everything about it but I also want you to see it for yourself and marvel as I did over the many surprises. To have the best of both worlds I wrote down my favorite moments and then narrowed them down to the LEAST spoilery of the bunch.
Before I jump into the list a little description of the plot:

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles of the current show (seen front and center in the above poster) are shocked to learn that the local News has captured footage of four mutant turtles stopping a robbery in Midtown. When it is revealed that those four turtles are actually the 90’s animated series incarnation of the famed heroes the fun really begins in a multidimensional adventure that brings Turtles from all realities together to fight the number one bane of all Turtle existence: THE SHREDDER!

Are you hooked yet? Neither was I. When I first read the description I was a little glad but ultimately worried this would end up being a dumb sight-gag that paid no homage to the Turtles of yore. Oh how wrong I was! This movie was lovingly crafted for Turtles fans of every incarnation. Jam packed with a shit-ton of in in-jokes and winks at for the long-time viewing audience (READ: OLD NERDS). What kinds of winks and nods? I’m glad you asked!

• KRANG – That’s right! Everybody’s favorite squishy-looking brain dude is BACK! He also has his robot body, just as you remember it from childhood! It was so exciting to see him and his famed Technodrome that i almost fainted. 

• IRMA! She’s only in a brief cameo (it happens 33:19 into the movie) but I was so thrilled to see that even though they couldn’t fit her into the story, SOMEONE in the production knew enough to toss her into a crowd scene. That’s TURTLE LOVE my friends!

• The COMEDY – this thing was HILARIOUS! I mean it. Maybe not so much for the younger audience but if you loved the Turtles as a kid and remember them fondly you will LOVE THIS MOVIE. Some of my favorite lines?
• “Outta the way Tubby” – said by a New Turtle to a 90’s Turtle
• “The tech of Dimension X is ridiculous!” – it WAS

• Mentions of OOZE – it happens on more than one occasion and it originates from the 90’s Turtles dimension. OF COURSE!

• TURTLE BLIMP- What 90’s Ninja Turtle adventure would be complete without this wondrous invention? If they had left this out I would not have enjoyed this movie as much.

Okay. I’ll stop there. If you think this stuff is cool just wait until you get to the Third Act of the movie. SHIT GOES BANANAS!  Please find it and watch it (i know that if you YOUTUBE “Turtles Forever” someone has already posted it in NINE 10min parts, WATCH IT!!!)

In the interest of fair balance (like FOX!) I wanted to mention two things MISSING from the film. Let me be clear that the writers fit in everything they could without breaking away from the main story and that the inclusion of either of the following two things would have been messy and confusing, so I understand why they weren’t in the film. That said, I missed them.


REST IN PEACE.

USAGI YOJIMBO

AND

THE RAT KING!!!!!!!

MUST WATCH: Weezer Go Ska With The Help Of Max Weinberg

Weezer was on Conan last night, which is awesome enough on its own but when you add Max Weinberg on drums plus LaBamba, Jerry Vivino and Mark Pender on HORNS the Awesome Factor takes a fifty point jump to super-cala-awesome-luscious™, check it out below:

 

Obama Says, “I’ve Got My Eye On You Evil Robots”

You’d think that title was some kind of joke. It’s not. This is an actual quote that our President said:

Of course he was joking when he said the second part but it’s still good to know that A) he’s got a sense of humor and B) he’s a nerd at heart.

 

Oh, and C) he’s as wary as I am of our future Robotic Overlords.

Testing Out Windows Live Writer

This is a test. It is ONLY a test. For months now my PC has been bugging me to download the Windows Live update. Last night I finally gave in and did a partial download of just Windows Writer (which is a desktop blogging platform) and Windows Movie Maker (which is a editing software). Haven’t had a chance or reason to use the Movie Maker yet but since I am going to be blogging a bit today I figured I could test this out.

New software is always strange and alien when you first open it and Writer is no different. That being said, i like what I’ve seen so far. The main window is colored like my blog so as I type this it’s on the blue background you see on the site (as opposed to a plain white box with black text as I usually see when I update from Blogger). It gives me the option of using it as a word processor with all the HTML formatting done behind the scenes or it allows me to check out the source code for the page in a different window.

The real benefit of using this software versus updating directly from the Blogger website in my internet browser are the customizable options. I can be reminded to add Tags, spell check and check links all before I publish the story. It also gives me more choices when it comes to formatting a story or inserting outside content like pictures, movies, maps, etc.

I’ll let you know over the next few days if I still feel the same but right now I’m loving this program. I think this will be my preferred method of updating from this point forward but anything can happen so if there are any major malfunctions I’ll report back. I have a couple more short posts I want to work on today. Funny enough a few of them are more tech related that any of the other shit I usually talk about on here so if that’s not your thing i apologize and would like to recommend you check out the stories in the news feed on the RIGHT SIDE of the page. That should keep you entertained for at least and hour or so. Also….here’s a new Panda.

 

He’s clearly innocent so stop accusing him of stuff and let him play with his bamboo.

THIRD WAVE: Top Twenty Favorite Ska Songs Of All Time - Part 2

This post ended up way bigger than initially planned so I'll skip the wordy-intro and present without further ado the second half of this list:

11. Straight Edge by NOFX




Mostly punk band, NOFX, has a deep love for horns as seen on this cut from one of their earliest releases. It seems they use the horns in songs whenever they want to cut loose or be silly. Horns keep it light.

12. The Set Up (You Need This) by Reel Big Fish




The best Reel Big Fish album of all time. This song is just one of my two favorites on this album. I remember working at Blockbuster around the time this album came out. They used to play music videos on the TV's around the store and this music video was on one of the videotapes the company sent out. I played it so many times I'm sure I broke the tape.

13. Giant Bird Head by the Aquabats




Another example of how brilliantly insane the Aquabats are. In case you can't figure it out from listening, this song is about building giant robots to fight off floating eyeballs. LOVE IT. If I had to pick on other band I'd want to script a comic book for that band would be the AQUABATS.


14. Saga by Pilfers




I knew I wanted to include a Pilfer's song on this list but I couldn't settle on which one. I picked this one because it is without question their prettiest sounding song. Honestly, if you like this song even a little bit you should do yourself the favor of downloading the entire album. This is a MUST OWN.


15. Gainseville Rock City by Less Than Jake




I hated living there but you don't grow up in a place for 26 years and not have some state pride. This song is for Florida.


16. Failing, Flailing by Streetlight Manifesto





Another shinning example of the greatness of Streetlight. This is just great music no matter how you slice it. One of my most often replayed songs.



17. The Kids Don't Like It by Reel Big Fish





I think this is my favorite RBF song of all time. I can't really point to a reason why but I have a feeling it's linked to memories of driving around Florida with my buddy Dave and listening to this album on repeat for hours. 


18. Big Crash by Less Than Jake





"Big Plans, Big Crash" - if those words don't make sense to you then you haven't experienced life. This song is all about the unpredictability of life. Important words to live by in this song. 


19. Martian Girl by the Aquabats





Who hasn't wanted to marry a martian? WHO?!


20. Monkeys by the Mad Caddies





Another late edition to my SKA-rsenal but I would be remiss if I didn't give this song it's due. It's a ska song about my favorite animal what's NOT to like?


Aaaaand that's all she wrote. Please comment below. I know I may have missed some of your favorites so I encourage you to share them in the comments below. 

99 Songs of Revolution

This is all from Wikipedia but is made me very excited.

99 Songs of Revolution

On September 9, 2008, The 99 Songs of Revolution Project was announced on the Pentimento Music Company's website. Previously thought to be only a Bandits of the Acoustic Revolution project (as stated in the liner notes for their EP, A Call to Arms), the project will consist of two full-length CDs by Streetlight Manifesto, and two full-length CDs by the Bandits of the Acoustic Revolution. In addition, four other albums will be performed; two CDs each by two other Streetlight-related artists. It was rumored that the first release date of these albums was to be October 28, 2008, a date that Victory Records posted as the release date for the next Streetlight Manifesto album. However, the first two CDs of the project are slated to be released sometime in early 2009, with one performed by Streetlight Manifesto and the other by one of the unnamed artists. Exact release dates of the eight CDs are to be determined. On February 11, the official website received an update saying "Lastly, regarding the 99 Songs of Revolution Project: we're wrapping up recording and mixing in the next few weeks. We'll have a track list up soon, and more info on its release is on the way. It will definitely be in stores (or somehow available for pirating) by the time Warped rolls around. Scouts honor." In addition, on April 3, the website was updated, saying "As for 99 Songs, sit tight a tiny bit longer. The record is out of our hands now, in terms of recording, so we're all waiting at this point. We'll be posting a track list on the site very soon." A first look at this album was given to fans who attended their show and listening party on October 4 at Sayreville, New Jersey. Confirmed songs from the October 4th show include, Me and Julio Down By The School Yard (written by Paul Simon), Hell (by the Squirrel Nut Zippers), Linoleum (by NOFX), and Such Great Heights (by The Postal Service).

 There are about a million things to be excited about in the above post. I can't believe there is an eight-disc ska set in the works at all, let alone produced by the brilliant minds behind Streetlight Manifesto. I will be following this as it develops...

THIRD WAVE: Top Twenty Favorite Ska Songs Of All Time - Part 1

As has been previously mentioned, I love me some Ska music. That powerful combination of horns and back beat gets my feet tappin' and my head bobbin' every time but nothing gets the blood flowing like the addition of some screaming guitar. This is what the Third Wave of Ska added to the already brilliant marriage of Rock-steady and Reggae. I listen to a lot of ska music and though my music tastes have evolved over the years there is still nothing I have heard that packs more wallop than a rockin' Ska-Core blowout.

Today I would like to introduce you to twenty of the BEST that Third-Wave had to offer the world. Posted below in no particular order are a collection of songs that have moved me in one way or another. There are some bands that have multiple songs on the list and others that are only mentioned once but I want to mention that ALL of the bands included on this list have albums that SHOULD be listened to in their entirety. These are CD's that were listened to repeatedly in my youth and it was actually pretty difficult picking my favorites. (in the interest of full disclosure you should know this list started out as my top TEN but I quickly realized picking ONLY ten was impossible). Enjoy the first-half of the list!


1. Beer by Reel Big Fish




This might be the first Ska song I was fully aware of. It's also one of the first songs I remember rocking out to. At the time (and still a bit now) I didn't even like drinking beer that much but I dare you, DARE you to listen to this song and not what to get drunk/rowdy with a group of good friends. 'Beer' is a shinning example of how great punk rock sounds when graced with the presence of a few trumpet blasts. 

2. 20¢ Goodbye by Goldfinger



Goldfinger is a close second in bands that mean something to me. Between their first album and RBF's I had fallen in love with this crazy Ska sound. This song in particular is one of my favorites. It goes on this list because it's a song I can never skip when it comes up on Shuffle. It is catchy and I think everyone can relate to ye old pre-cell phone days when we were forced to use disgusting pay phones. If you can't relate to that then certainly you can relate to the frustration of need to apologize to someone only to realize this conversation isn't going to go well and this will probably a long goodbye. Either way you can hear the frustration in John Feldman's voice and it's that level of emotion that runs though all of Goldfinger's early work that made me a fan in the first place.

3. What Happened To My Radio? by Buck'O'Nine

 CLICK HERE TO PLAY SONG

These guys are another amazing band who truly embraced the Third Wave sound which was, at its core, all about being as different from mainstream music as possible. This lyrics to this song further exemplify the frustration some of these musicians felt with the state of music at the time. This sentiment is still echoed today by practically anyone with music tastes that's forced to listen to terrestrial radio.

4. Freakshow by The Pietasters



The trombone in this song is absolutely the definition of ass-kicking and the subject matter; if you've ever felt like the world around us is getting weirder and weirder than this song speaks to you. All that is wrong with the world is made right, even if it's only for three minutes.

Someday I Suppose by The Mighty Mighty Bosstones

Mighty Mighty Bosstones |MTV Music

Certainly not their most famous song but I think it's one of their best. I couldn't find my favorite version of it however so this music video will have to do. If you ever get a chance I recommend buying or downloading their LIVE album. The Bosstones always sound better live than in studio to my ears and I think you'll agree.

5. Lolita by Mustard Plug



"Your love blows me....AWAAY!" This song, like all of Mustard Plug's songs just plain makes me grin. Bonus for Mustard Plug and Simpsons fans: this song is off of the "Pray For Mojo" album.

6. Mr. Smiley by Mustard Plug



This song is on the list because of how clever the subject matter is. Listen to the tale of a boy and his imaginary friend....who happens to be a mass murderer. It's a classic.

7. Round Kid by Buck-O-Nine




The first track on their phenomenally fun album "Twenty-Eight Teeth" this song holds a special place in my heart because of the memories I have associated with it. I had a lot of fun times to this entire album and this song embodies all of them.


8. Idiot Box by the Aqaubats 





It's funny to me that the Aquabats once sang a song about the evils of too much TV because now they are in charge of one of the hottest TV shows for kids in the last decade, the surreal and hilarious, YO GABBA GABBA

9. History of a Boring Town by Less Than Jake




Ever been stuck in one place for way to long? Ever feel like your peers are passing you by and living their lives while you're stuck running in circles? Less Than Jake knows the feeling and expresses it in this hard rocking song. Vent your frustrations in the pit boys and girls.


10. Walking Away by Streetlight Manifesto




These guys are the newest band (on my radar) out of everyone on this list but they are one of the most musically talented ska bands around. I had the pleasure of seeing them open for the Reel Big Fish in Fort Lauderdale, Fl a few years ago and Dan Regan (of RBF fame) turned to me and said, "These guys are like Reel Big Fish with talent." It made me laugh (always a fan of self deprecation) but it also rang as a high compliment and instantly peaked my interest in the band. I think this song is a great way to show off what these guys can do.

I Heart Batman!

VIA blog.newsarama.com

Fan Fandom: Gotham Knights Online: "

There’s a new regular feature at Blog@, and it’s literally all about the fans. Fan Fandom will highlight particularly great-looking or well-written fan sites from across the span of comics (and one degree out, as we like to say). It’s a truth of this medium that it owes its lifeblood to the readers. After all, they’re the ones that turn out in droves for conventions, films, and even the comic shops. Fandom itself is nothing new, unless you’ve already forgotten the late, great Jerry Bails or Forrest J. Ackerman. However, as fansites have gotten more sophisticated and intricate over the last decade, it’s high time that we give some a little recognition.

The first candidate? Gotham Knights Online. GKO distinguishes itself in a number of ways. It’s visually appealing, it covers a variety of Batman-related material, and it has a podcast that’s landed guest appearances by the likes of Greg Rucka and Mike Marts. In addition to discussing and reviewing new issues of the comics, a premium is also placed on covering “Batman: The Brave and The Bold” and items like the forthcoming “Batman: Reborn” figures from DC Direct.

Bob Tilley, Cory Lewellen, and Gary Allegra have done a solid job in getting this one together. One of my favorite pieces has been an interview with the composers for “B:TB&TB”, complete with clips that complement the conversation. So hey, do some fellow fans a solid and drop by. And don’t be afraid to post some of your other favorite, let me emphasize this, FAN sites below; they may very well pop up in a future Fan Fandom.

"

Shawn Explains: Comic Book Lettering

If you're an avid reader of this blog you'll notice I like to announce new features, promise they'll become regulars on the blog and then forget about them. Not one to break tradition I'd like to welcome you to a new blog feature: SHAWN EXPLAINS. I expect this feature to reoccur whenever I think up a topic that I know a lot about that maybe the masses do not. There is no better first topic for this feature than the art of comic book lettering.

Plus I can get this out so that I can save myself the awkwardness of explaining it. You see, people are always interested to find out that I work in comic books but then the conversation quickly goes South from there. Here's an example:

Person: You make comics?

Me: Yup. I write them but mostly I make money from lettering them.

Person: You must be a good artist. Can you draw me Batman?

Me: Uh....no. I don't draw them. I letter the books.

Person (blank expression): Oh.

(LONG PAUSE)

Person: Like you write the stories?

Me: No. Like....have you read a comic book? You know the word balloons and sound FX?

Person (not sure what I'm talking about but not wanting to be rude): um....yes.

(PERSON LOOKS AROUND, DESPERATE FOR A WAY OUT OF THIS CONVERSATION)

Me: Well I design the balloons, place the words and add SFX. Then I flatten it all and--

BLAM!

ME (COVERED IN THEIR BLOOD AND BRAIN BITS): Well it wasn't THAT boring....


And it ISN'T boring at all. In fact if you'll allow me to indulge I would like to take you on a step-by-step journey through the exciting world of comic book letter. The final part of the comic book making process but arguably just as important as the art and script. Everyone on board? Away we go!

note: for the purpose of this blog and because it's what I'm currently working on, I'll be using art from Archaia Comics' 'Hybrid Bastards'....all art and script pages are copyright and trademarked and lawyers will take your souls and witchdoctors will shrink your genitals if you steal. Thanks.

STEP ONE - Art Meet Script

We begin by downloading all the unlettered art. Sometimes this is done while the pages are still in the black and white pencil phase but (preferably) it's usually done with final, colored, artwork. Once I have all the art on my computer I make sure to stay organized by creating a new Sub-folder in my "LETTERING" folder on my hard drive. Staying organized makes it easier for me to find and keep track of all the various projects I work on. It also makes it a smoother process to find old work if an editor contacts me and asks for something to be redone (which happens more often that you'd imagine).

Next I download the script and print out a copy. The printed copy is for me to read through and although I usually keep it handy in case I need it, I work from a digital copy I keep open on my desktop. They don't all look like the script above. Sometimes there are detailed panel descriptions (which is how I wrote my upcoming graphic novel, DETECTIVES IN SPACE).

I can work either way but prefer to have a full script just in case the art isn't clear enough for me to tell each character apart from another (this isn't a problem when I'm lettering a book I wrote but that's a rare occurrence).

Once I have the basic components needed to perform the task at hand I move on to

STEP TWO - Adobe Illustrator Is My Best Friend

I work in Adobe's excellent Illustrator program, although there are several other programs that can do similar functions, I've found Illustrator to be the best of the best.

I have a template I work off of but basically you want to create AT LEAST THREE LAYERS. (if you don't know the basics of Adobe programs I'm not going to get into it here, there are PLENTY of tutorials online, use the search box on the right side of this blog for more...). As you can see I use more than three layers but you want to at least have a separate layer for ART, BALLOONS and LETTERS.

Obviously, the art gets placed on the bottom layer. Once there I make two important moves: I make the art about 30% see-thru (so it's easier to see the letters I'll be placing) and then I LOCK THE LAYER (so that things don't move around on me while I'm working on the other layers).

STEP THREE- Pick A Font

This is one of the places I really get to express my creative side. To me, the font choice should have several functions:

1. It should match or compliment the art style - if the art is thick lined and blocky I'll use a similarly designed font. 
2. It should be EASY TO READ
3. It should blend with and enhance the art, NOT stand out like a sore thumb or call attention to itself. 

Those are my three rules for font picking. The letterer's job is NOT to out shine the material he's lettering. If people notice my lettering it usually means I did a bad job. I'm happiest when people read the book and comment on the story and pacing that's how I know I did a good job.

Once I have selected a font to use can move onto

STEP FOUR- Lettering The Comic

Now we've reached the delicious, goooey center of this job. To make life easier and assure I don't make any spelling or grammar mistakes (as is typical with me) I copy/paste the script page I'm working on, next to the page I'm working on in Illustrator as you can see in the picture above.

Then I cut and paste each set of dialogue to the corresponding panel within the page.

Once each line is near the character speaking it I'll start to shape the words into a balloon-like shape.

After I've done this for each line I can look at the page as a whole and figure out how to best place each balloon so the reader follows the story in the correct order (NOTE: we read left to right and top to bottom). This is THE MOST CRUCIAL PART OF LETTERING A COMIC. If the placement is wrong you, as the reader, will not read the comic as intended. Things will become confusing and you will grow frustrated causing you to scream and pull your hair out, or (even worse) put the book now and never finish it (and THAT makes Baby Jesus cry magical tears that flood the Earth).

Now I start making the balloons and placing them around the text. Some quick thoughts on balloons:

• There is no perfect way to make a balloon, especially considering that each one will be a little different than the one prior. 
• It is ideal to make them as round as you can without leaving too much space on either the sides, top or bottom. 
• If your balloons look like they could poke an eye out with their sides then they are too pointy. 
• If your balloons look like old school TV's (almost square in shape) then you're making them too flat
• The text should always be centered in the balloon, if it looks off center adjust the balloon to take a little off each side until it looks right. 
• Be cautious not to get too close to the text with the balloon edges or else everything looks cramped and because hard to read.

When you're all done your page should look like the one above. You should be able to read the page in the same order as you read the script. If you cannot then re-check your placement.

STEP FIVE - Tall Tails

Next up I go to the trusty Pen Tool and draw tails on my balloons. This step is pretty self-explanitory but for the simple minded allow me to lay out the basic rule to follow: THE TAILS POINT TO THE CHARACTER WHO IS SPEAKING.

Seems easy enough but it can become complicated when you also keep in mind to avoid covering as much of the art as you can (sometimes unavoidable) and not let the tip of the tails touch any line art because that can make the balloon appear to be a part of the art and might confuse readers (it's called creating a "tangent").

There is a whole art to making a good tail and I don't want to gloss over it but I'm also aware that not everyone reading this is going to go out and try to letter a comic so I don't want to get bogged down with specifics. If you DO want to letter your own comics I suggest you look at THIS ARTICLE on lettering tails.

STEP SIX - KA-BLAMMO (and other Sound Effects)

Now, I add in any effects that are called for in the script (and sometimes I add in an effect NOT in the script if I think it'll make the page "play" better). Once again, creating sounds is an art unto itself. Again I'll refer you to people AT LOT better than me for the details: HERE.

I have some specific thoughts on using FX in comics and I'm torn sometimes when I get a script with a ton of effects. On the one hand they are a lot of fun to create. Maybe my favorite part of lettering. However as a writer myself I'm reluctant to use them. I think, for the most part, my audience is as smart if not smarter than I am therefore if there's a panel of a GIANT FUCKING EXPLOSION then certainly you can infer the noise that would make without me putting a "KABLAMMO" over the art. Same with gun fire. We've all seen at least ONE movie or TV show where someone shoots a gun and as a result we ALL know how a gun sounds, so doesn't it seem silly for me to add a "BLAM" or "BANG" next to every gun in my entire comic? I think so.

To me, effects should be used sparingly to retain the most impact. An off panel beheading might look great but it's made better by a sickly "SHNIKT" or "SLOOSH". At the end of the day the client is always right so when working on someone else's book I generally do whatever is asked unless I think it's hurting to overall look or flow of the story (then I will usually SUGGEST the writer consider dropping a few FX.)

So there you have it. The very BASICS of lettering a comic book. As mentioned in the above there are a lot of people who do this better and have been doing it a LOT longer than yours truly. If you want to know more and maybe even try your hand at lettering I can not reccomend the following places enough times:

Richard Starking's ComicCraft -  The MASTERS of digital lettering. This is the one stop shop for learning, doing and downloading fonts to use in your comics.

BLAMBOT FONTS - Not to be outdone, the guys behind BLAMBOT are almost as seasoned as ComicCraft. What they lack in years of experience (not much) they make up for by offereing MANY of their fonts for FREE. There are some basic rules that go along with using the free fonts so make sure you read all the fine print and give credit where it's due.

Todd Klien's Blog - Todd is my favorite letterer of all time. This guy has been around for as long as i can remember and knows how to letter using a computer as well as (the traditional) HAND LETTERING.  He is a WEALTH of knowledge on the subject (and many others as well) and I recommend you check out his site regardless of wanting to letter comics or not. He's THAT super cool.

Chris Eliopoulos - Is another master letterer I love. His website doesn't talk about lettering because he's also an artist and it showcases his art. Which is also super cool. However, if you follow him on twitter he sometimes talks lettering there.

Hopefully this explains (briefly and simply) the process of lettering comics. Mostly I wrote this piece so I'd have a place to direct people when they ask what I do for a living but I hope that at least some of you gained some incite you didn't previously have into the process of making funny books.

Please leave any questions or comments below and I'll do my best to answer and reply as fast as possible.

Velma and Scooby Have Some Work to Do

This comes from our friends over at toplessrobot.com

Velma and Scooby Have Some Work to Do: "​I saw Travis Pitts' incredibly awesome pic of a post-zombie-apocalypse Scooby Gang -- that is, a trim and incredibly hot Velma and ready-to-kick-ass Scooby, the only survivors of a seriously fucked up Mystery Machine mishap -- a while ago, but it almost instantly dominated the internets, and I thought it would be repetitive to show it on TR. Now that my buddy Agent M has discovered it's now on a t-shirt from Threadless for $18 -- I'm happy to have an excuse to show it to those who missed it. Seriously, that Velma is so hot I had to watch some regular Scooby Doo cartoons to settle down."

'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' Gets Webisode Series

This comes from http://www.horrorsquad.com and is pretty cool news. I don't love motion comics as I think I've mentioned here but I know there are a hell of a lot of people who do. So in the spirit of that it makes me happy that Buffy goes out for a wider audience to view.


'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' Gets Webisode Series: "

Filed under: News/Reactions

Whedonites have been having a rough time of it lately with the cancellation of Dollhouse and Cabin in the Woods delayed until 2011. However, the good word came yesterday from Dread Central that a series of motion-comic webisodes based off of Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight has been put into motion.



Buffy's TV reign sadly ended with Season Seven in 2003 but Dark Horse Comics has been continuing the Buffy canon since 2007 with Buffy Season Eight. The comic series follows the events of the TV show's final season and is produced by Joss who wrote the first story, The Long Way Home. Originally only supposed to contain 25 issues, Whedon announced in September that the series would continue into Season Nine. Georges Jeanty has been the lead penciller for Season Eight but other artists have contributed to the series, including Jo Chen who has turned out some stunning work.



Casting directors are currently looking for voice actors to play all the usual suspects as well as the characters Twilight (the Big Bad) and Lady Genevieve Savidge, a British socialite slayer with an evil plan. If you're a voice actor or just plain curious--check out the casting call info after the jump. Let us know if you audition!

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

"

Testing Different Looks.

What do you think?

Improvement or big mistake?

And Then There Were Ads and Blog Rolls

What the hell Shawn?! You sold out man. You suck! Boo!

That's what I hear in my head as I fill out all the Google AdSense forms and place an add gadget on my blog. What ever happened to creating art for arts sake? I don't know but I need to eat and as I venture further into the freelancing world I'm looking to make a buck anyway I can, even if it means occasionally requesting you click on my ads to support me/this blog.

It's shameless I know but what I have done to balance it out is also add a list of my friends blogs. These are people who work just as hard as I do to bring you quality content five days a week. I encourage you to click on their links to the left and visit their blogs. If you like what you read drop them a line and tell'em old, Shawnie D. sent ya.

SHAZBOT!


(PS. Sorry for the short post. I'm working a lot of irons in the fire that is today. I promise to be back on track tomorrow. Thanks. Peace and Love. )

Aleks Trebek Gets His Magic Powers From Answering Questions (And Other Stuff I Learned While Watching A Jeopardy Taping)

Yesterday I spent the day on the set of Jeopardy. My buddy Charles used his magnificent brain to win his way into a contestant spot on the show and invited me to be his guest. This was an exciting prospect because it would mean I could finally get an up-close glance at the Trebek-Bot that replaced the REAL Alex Trebek six years ago when he mysteriously shaved his trademark mustache. You see I always believed that the mustache was the source of his powers, his Trebek-ne-se-qua, if you will. What I learned at yesterdays tapings was shocking and proved I couldn't have been more wrong.

After spending six and a half hours watching them tape five episodes of Trebek's 26-year running game show, Jeopardy, I have come to come to the conclusion that Alex Trebek is not a robot.  In fact all those years we assumed his mustache was the source of his power we've been wrong. You see, when you sit down for a Jeopardy taping after the initial warnings about not taking pictures and not shouting out answers at the contestants, the audience is informed that, "Mr. Trebek loves to answer questions. So if you've ever had a question for Mr. Trebek now's the time to ask. He'll stop between every commercial break to answer your questions,"  by the studio announcer. Then Trebek comes out and reiterates, "During the commercial breaks I'm going to want questions. Think up some great questions for me to answer. I'll answer anything."

That's when I started to figure it out: he needs our questions. His whole career, practically his life, has revolved around questions. Shit, the whole point of his game show is for people to tell him the question to the answer he provides. Maybe that was enough at first but it seems like whatever energy he was gaining from just the show questions has dissipated. Either that or his thirst for question has increased over the years. Whatever the reasons it's clear to me now that he thrives on these questions.

Maybe you had to be there to understand how insistent he was that we keep coming up with questions to really understand how I could come to this conclusion. In the six hours I was there he reminded the audience at least twice an hour to, "come up with some good questions". It got to the point where it was starting to seem obsessive and became noticeable to people other than me. I heard murmurs in the audience posing the very theory I'm sharing with you. "Why does he need us to ask him all these questions," and, "he's like a question vampire" started to get whispered through the crowd.

At first I thought perhaps this was just a bit they'd do for the first few commercial breaks but he actually answered questions for the entire fucking day! From what I can tell the quality of the questions doesn't matter. The ones I heard ranged from lame, "How long have you been working as a game show host" to bizarre, "what's your favorite kind of dancing" but he answer them all with wild abandon. When there was a lull in the taping Aleks would look to the audience and say, "Remember, I need questions during the break."

It was surreal.

As far as the rest of the taping went here's the rundown of a day on Jeopardy:

• Arrive and get checked in. Then there's a looooong wait that isn't over until the annoying, over-empowered, security guard does a twenty-two minute stand-up bit that he clearly wrote himself. 
• We're herded into the studio on the impressive yet under guarded Sony Studios Lot. I'm serious about it being under patrolled. I strolled around in between tapings, almost getting run over by a cowboy on a bicycle, throughout the lot and was never once stopped.
• Then there is the previously mentioned "ask questions" speech. Then the taping begins. 
• During the taping we were asked to applaud but not to hoot and holler because "Jeopardy is a bit classier than all that." 
• The taping was looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong. Surprisingly they stop several times during each show to verify answers/ questions that perhaps were unclear. Large stretches of downtime allowed for Trebek to field more random questions while the researchers did their fact checking. (it is possible that all the breaks were manufactured just to allow Trebek more time sucking questions from the audience like some kind of enigmatic-vampire but I don't want to start any baseless rumors)
• My friend Charles did really, really, really, impressively good. I won't spoil the outcome but I will tell you the episode airs on January 4th, 2010 and that you should watch it. 
• They gave away prizes at the end of the taping. 
• The prizes were copies of ESPN Jeopardy Board Game. Useless to a non-sports fan like myself. 

Overall it was a fun way to spend a day but not something I'd sit through again (unless I was a guest, which I won't be because I think I'd choke under pressure and make a fool of myself). Alex Trebek is a really nice guy and couldn't have been friendlier (and despite my suggestions he might be a robot or a question-succubus, my lawyers are asking me to clarify that he's just a normal man). I was proud of my friend and thought it was a pretty neat way to spend a day. If you're ever in the Los Angeles area I suggest you get tickets to the show and help feed Alex Trebek so that he may live FOREVER.

NOTE: Once again my lawyers have asked me to remind you that he is NOT gaining life-force from your questions or his studio audience and that he never has been a robot (as far as we know).

Human fetus found...

I got no direction for this post today so I may start to ramble. If my semi-coherant ramblings annoy or bore you I suggest you skip today's blog post. No hard feelings. Seriously, I won't be offended. Look here's a happy panda to prove it:

Still there? Good.

Hi. I'm Shawn and I was recently let go from my day job. There's a bitter-sweetness to getting let go from a job you're not committed to. On the one hand I have no job which means I have no money which could become a problem for my landlord at some point. On the other hand, I have no job which also means I can stay up late, look at porn in the day time and drive around laughing at people stuck in traffic because I don't actually have anywhere important to be. Also I can get a lot of writing and lettering done.

Speaking of lettering, as luck would have it, I just picked up three new jobs.

To RECAP: just got fired. just got hired.
It's the scary world of freelancing and I'm at the heart of it. It's not ideal, I mean I'd love to have a steady day job that paid a lot and I loved but so far all of those elements haven't aligned. Instead it seems the things I love the most are the least stable (this could be extended to the girl I love as well but that's another blog all together).

Here is a picture of bacon:

In other news...

- I'd like to apologize to anyone who watched Trauma last night as per my suggestion. Last nights episode was lame and utterly boring. It was embarrassing all the way to the end, especially knowing I'd just soapboxed about it's greatness. Usually there is more violence and mishaps and less stupid character moments and whining.

- New York City has announced that starting today there will be FREE WI-FI AVAILABLE IN TIMES SQUARE! You can find more info if you click HERE.

- Know who is STILL pretty hot even though she hasn't stopped aging? Gina Gershon:

- Do you believe in ghosts? Like REALLY believe? Me neither but my friends over at horrorsquad.com seem to have found what they believe to be the most convincing footage to date. GO HERE and check it out. I watched it and was no more creeped out than when I saw Paranormal Activity (which was terrible and NOT scary).

-I read a lot of news online. My google reader has over 200 feeds and on a given day I have well over 1000+ articles to read/browse. Out of all of those possible stories, every so often, there is a standout headline that catches my eye and refuses to let go. This one comes from the Miami Herald and it's my favorite in a long time. :

Human fetus found in Orlando waste water tank

The Associated Press

A human fetus has been found in an Orlando waste water tank.Orlando Police say an employee of the Water Conservation Plant found the fetus Thursday morning and called authorities.
The Medical Examiner's Office says the fetus is 14-15 weeks gestational age. There is no criminal investigation being conducted at this time.

Not a huge article but GOD FUCKING DAMN if that title doesn't put asses in seats I don't know what will. I do want to note that I find it weird that there is "NO CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION" happening at all. It makes me wonder: why the fuck not? It is assumed this fetus accidentally dropped out of a lady while she was on the toilet and got flushed? Do they think the fetus slipped out whilst some lady was swimming in a public lake and it got filtered into a waste tank?

Now, I'm not pro-life by any means. I don't believe a fetus is a life but I do think if someone drops their unborn baby into a PUBLIC WASTE AREA that should be considered a crime. At the very least it's littering.


That's all the time I have for today. You've been wonderful. Please send thoughts, concerns and comments to the white box marked "comments", all will be publish and some will be replied.

TRAUMA ON NBC = FUN FOR SHAWN

I know the show is being canceled. I know it's the 4th in it's time-slot. I know that EMT's around the country are offended. I know, I know, I know.

You know what? I don't give a shit. I love this show, I really do. For those of you who haven't seen it (which is apparently a lot of you hence the cancellation) then you're missing on a weekly dose of hilarious random injuries, unbelievably-over-the-top characters and fast-paced medical jargon. It's like E.R. on the road. In fact that one of the things that draws me to the show; fans of E.R. will agree that a show focused on the paramedics before they arrived at the hospital would have been the best. Trauma is that show.  Let me list for you some of my  favorite moments so far:

• The Pilot - Right off the bat I knew I was going to like this show. I watch a lot of TV and usually I watch either emotionally or mentally complicated shows. This show doesn't have all that confusion. The pilot contained TWO GIANT EXPLOSIONS. These were no run-of-the-mill explosions either, one of them was a fucking helicopter and not your usual helicopter explosion this helicopter HIT A FUCKING SKYSCRAPER!  How many times do you think you'll see that in you TV viewing life? Not many.
• Anastasia Griffith. On the show they call her Nancy. She is super beautiful and not a terrible actress. She's also British but I didn't know that till I Wiki'd her. On the show she's an American girl. She had a boyfriend who was in the exploding helicopter in the pilot and spends the rest of the series sort of mourning him but not in a melodramatic kinda way. That wouldn't be so interesting but it does lead to several flashbacks of the helicopter explosion which is way cool no matter how many times they show it. Also, Nancy is hot.
• INJURIES GALORE: A guy drove through a street fair running people down with his car, a father gets in a fist fight and gets punched in the mouth resulting in him biting off his tongue which is SON FINDS ON THE GROUND a few moments later, a man falls off some scaffolding onto a metal rebar and is IMPALED....I could go on and on but I don't want to spoil it all. This is the heart of the show. It's not about the stupid characters and their forced relationships. It's about the TRAUMA. That's the part they get right the most and in my opinion the most important part of the show. It's what brings me back every week.

I'm going to stop here because I could go on all day but I honestly don't want to spoil any more of the goodies that await you in every episode.  NBC's website has a few episodes up and there are still FIVE episodes to air before the show is canceled. Don't let this magic gem of a series slip by without a viewing. I suggest you gather around your TV tonight, have a big bowl of popcorn and shut your brains off. Get ready for violence and surgery and bad dialogue. This is light viewing at its best.

Thoughts?

On The Ground _ SNL Digital Short

Seems to me the best parts of Saturday night live are these digital shorts. Lorne Michaels should start focusing on making the show all digital web content. 

The video made me laugh out loud several times.

Reel Big Fish.....Continued

Let me start off by saying the response to the first set of pages has been amazing. Thank you to every one that has left a comment or twttered me about the comic and my blog post. It's nice to hear other RBF fans point out in jokes that we (my co-writer and I) tucked in among the jokes and silliness.

The response has been so impressive it's motivated me to dig up any other RBF related art I could find. As I mentioned in the previous blog, the idea was that this book would be an anthology. Dave and I wanted to play with as many different genres as we could fit into the 88 page limit. The five pages I found are actually the opening of the book. I asked one of my Vicious Circle Project partners, Jason Sobol, to do the art for this part. I picked Sobol because Dave and I had written this opening to be an warly-90's style Image Comics homage. Unfortunatly the art was never complete (which was no fault on Sobol since I wasn't paying him a dime and he's married with two kids) and so you don't get to the end where....you know what? Screw it. Here's the drawn pages and then the script of how this part should've ended. Thanks again for the nice replies. Hope this makes you smile.

*NOTE: These pages are RAW. That means not only are they unfinished there are parts still drawn in blue line pencil. I've enhanced these parts digitally and as a result the quality has degraded. Jason Sobol is a kick ass artist. If you like his art with my words I encourage you to stick around either this blog or my twitter for more information on our upcoming web comic: "Galaxy Girl"

PAGE SIX (5 PANELS)

1- Dan sees The Chib getting pulled in opposite directions by two Robot Ninjas.

DAN R.
HEY!  You DON'T mess with The Chib.... Let's see how these clowns like the taste of....

2- Dan has pulled out a small plastic bong.

DAN R.
...BONG WATER!!

3- Now he is pouring the water all over the two robots attacking the Chib.  Sparks are shooting out of their faces.

ROBOT NINJA: B
BZZT....NO....BZZZT!

CHIB
They're gonna blow!

4- Dan and the Chib, mid-air as the two Robot Ninja's EXPLODE behind them.  This should be the big action movie moment.

SFX
KA-BOOOOM!

5- a small circular panel set over the last panel but located in the bottom right hand corner of the page.  It's a CLOSE UP of Aaron (drawn in the "Archie" style of the rest of the book)_

AARON
Wait a minute....

PAGE SEVEN (6 PANELS)

1- PULL OUT to REVEAL - The band is actually on stage in front of a sold out crowd of screaming fans.  It should be clear that this is reality and that the previous five pages were fictional.

The band is on stand (from left to right) in the following order: John, Dan, Scott, Aaron, Matt and Ryland behind the drum kit.

John, Dan, Ryland and Matt are all staring at Scott who is holding the mic stand like a sword and acting out the story as he tells it.

SCOTT K.
--so Dan's all, "HOW DO YOU LIKE SOME BONG WATER, BITCHES!"  And then the explosive's like....Ka-BLAM!  Thankfully Dan and the Chib were okay.  But they hadn't destroyed all the evil Robot Ninja's of Kentucky yet so me and the other guys had to--

AARON
Scott...stop....Scott...

SCOTT K.
...devise some sort of plan.  We headed into the bus to regroup when...

AARON
Scott...

2- CLOSE ON Scott.

SCOTT K.
The bus begins to shake and rumble.  Aaron was peeing himself with fear, he does that when he's scared....pees all over the walls and...

3- CLOSE ON Aaron.

AARON
Scott...

4- CLOSE ON Scott.

RYLAND
Scott....

5- CLOSE ON Scott.

SCOTT K.
...just piss everywhere....the floor....

6- CLOSE ON Matt.

MATT W.
Scott...

PAGE EIGHT (4 PANELS)

1- Wide shot of the crowd from the bands POINT OF VIEW.

CROWD
SCOTT!

2- ON Scott.

SCOTT K.
....and-- (beat) What?

3- On Aaron.

AARON
We should try to play at least one song...

4- A shot of Scott, John and Aaron.

SCOTT K.
But I'm telling my story...

AARON
For the past twenty-two minutes.

SCOTT K.
I'm almost finished.

JOHN
And none of what you're saying even happened.

SCOTT K.
It could have.

AARON
Song time.

SCOTT K.
Fine....Now, kids, it's time for a song....

PAGE NINE (5 PANELS)

1- WIDE SHOT over the audience, similar to the one at the top of page 6.

CROWD
YAY!  WOOO!

ONE FAN
You suck.

ANOTHER FAN
Play 'Trendy'!

AARON
ONE-TWO....ONE-TWO-THREE-FOUR...

2- The band begins to play, "Beer".

AARON
She called me late last night, to say she loved me so...  It didn't matter anymore...

3- Matt Wong plays the bass like none other.  Eyes closed, truly feeling the music.

AARON
...but I say she never cared and that she never will, I'd do it all again I guess I'll have to wait until then...

4- John and Dan play their horn parts and dance like crazy.

AARON
If I get drunk well, I'll pass out on the floor now baby you won't bother me no more... If you're drinkin' well, you know that you're my friend and I say I think I'll have myself a BEER!

5- A wide shot of all of them rocking.  Girls Crowd surf and the pit is a sea of smiling skankin' ska lovers.

CAPTION
FIN.