How I Would Save AMC'S 'Rubicon' or "Damn....It Had So Much Promise"

"That Glee Club will never find me in this bar...."

 When AMC started 'Rubicon' over the summer with a special online look at the one-hour premier I was as excited as everyone else. AMC has already proven it knows how t make quality TV with it's critical and fan-favorite series' 'Mad Men' and 'Breaking Bad'. These two shows have demonstrated the cable network's ability to tell quality stories using complex characters, each show has a unique visual style and stellar casts. For all purposes both of these shows are home-runs. 

I went into the pilot of 'Rubicon' with no knowledge of the series, I hadn't read even a one-line description of the premise. All I knew what that AMC made good TV and all I expect was that this new series would, at least, meet if not raise the bar already set. It didn't. 

Right out of the gate there were problems with this new series. The pilot alone took me two viewing to get through. Sure there were intriguing moments but it was very slow. Worse than the pacing was the tone of the show, deadly serious. It's as if we're to believe none of these characters have ever cracked a joke before because I don't think I saw one smile or light moment in the whole first hour. 

Obviously the high-paranoia, everything-is-a-conspiracy-style-plot doesn't leave much room for spit takes and knee-slappers but a little bit of levity would've been the first step in the right direction to bringing a new audience into this very stoic world of Government-employed, Think-Tank workers. 

In the pilot episode we meet Will Travers an intelligence analyst for a think-tank called, API, who is still dealing with the loss of his wife and daughter in the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center. Will discovers a hidden code in crossword puzzles around the country that tie into a secret society that may have a heavy hand in orchestrating world events on a grand scale. I say "may have" because, ten episodes into season 1, and the answer is just as muddled as it was in the premiere. 

As a series-long LOST fan I'm accustomed and totally okay with not have all (or ANY) of the answers up front. I'm generous with TV, especially new shows, and as long as you keep me invested in the people I'll stick through muddle plot details and over-worked conspiracy stories. Rubicon has only succeeded in making one character worth watching, Kale Ingram (played by the spectacular Arliss Howard). 

Kale Ingram is one of Will Traver's supervisors at API, an enigmatic man who speaks in whispered puzzles, is the most appealing and humanized character on the series. He has a live-in boyfriend whom we've been shown he adores, if only because he's so easy to keep in the dark (when you work at API you can't tell anyone what you really do...mysterious, isn't it?). 

So, with all the bits and pieces that are good and bad, how can we save this show? With a few MINOR adjustments I think this could be one of the best show's on TV so I'm going to list them and maybe, someone out there will know a Rubicon writer and pass along this list of suggestions. Or else we can just debate it here. 

1. MORE KALE - This one should be hard to accomplish. Write this guy more scenes and give him more business. It seems like the writers are already onto this gem in their cast, as this most recent episode spent a lot of time with Kale. They're on the right path but they can do more. Kale has recently been helping Will (or at least it seems this way, he could also be working against him) and should continue to do so. Since one of the major faults of this show is that the stakes are unclear, let's start by making our heroes a little clearer. I'm not saying there should be distinctive Good and Evil characters, this show works well in the grey-areas, but it wouldn't hurt to make Kale as definite friend of Will Travers and his ongoing investigation.  Perhaps add some danger to the show by having Kale tell Will everything he knows and agree to help him, in secret, take down API only to have him lose his live-in boyfriend in a tragic accident similar to the one that started Will's investigation (the mysterious death of Will's father-in-law is what begins the series). 
2. ANSWER QUESTIONS AND ASK NEW ONES - This was the one major flaw LOST seemed to have, it constantly asked new questions before it gave satisfying answers to the old ones. Rubicon doesn't do either. In the ten episodes I've seen, we have learned almost NOTHING worth-while about the over-all conspiracy, it's players, it's pawns or it's purpose. This is a bad move. The audience isn't going to stick around just because you keep a carrot on a stick in front of them. The characters will keep asses in the seats but for a show about conspiracy, you need to have lots of conspiring. Let us in on the plan. Show some of your cards and then think up new mysteries to tease us with. By episode 5 we should know exactly what the Crossword Puzzle Hiding Men hope to achieve.  By episode 10 we should know, without question, what Will is going up against. If we knew how high a mountain he has to climb we might be more inclined to stick around and watch him try to climb it. 
3. MORE CONSPIRACY THEORIES - The crossword puzzle thing was cool. So are all the hidden four-leaf clovers people keep finding at random, that somehow tie into the large conspiracy. I would love to continue telling you about the cool little bits of intrigue on this series but it stops there. It shouldn't. Wrap the the xword puzzle and the clovers by episode 6 and then introduce us to something new. Maybe there are hidden messages on TV or in a prominent Gossip rag. If this show gave us more little details to investigate with Will perhaps it wouldn't feel like we've spent the last 10 episodes treading water. 
4.  COMEDY WORKS TO INCREASE TENSION - As I said at the beginning of this piece a little levity goes a long way. If we could see some of these characters out of their work element, or even a bit happier at work, it would help to not only humanize them but increase the tension of the quiet serious scenes just enough to keep the show out of the feet-dragging pace it's been slogging along at. They tried this with light banter amongst Will's team but, for whatever reason, this falls flat and seems forced. Maybe it's because we know so little about these characters outside of the four-industrial green colored walls they work behind it's hard to tell what's meant to be sarcastic and what's meant to be serious. Which leads me to my final suggestion...
5. LET THE SUPPORTING CAST BREATH- We've gotten a little bit of info about each of the supporting characters but not enough information. If a bit more time was spent on each of these characters throughout the ten episodes that have aired, we could be more invested in their personal lives and therefore care more about what happens to them professionally. 

What's past is past and there's nothing we can do but I have no doubt that this show will get a second season and hopefully the creators will look back on the complaints the first season has received and search for ways to fix it. These 5 suggestions are a great place to start. I'm hoping for the best because there are many things about this show I like and with a few tweaks it could be as strong as my other favorite, quietly brooding series, DAMAGES. 

Am I way off base? Do you love Rubicon? Hate it? Share your thoughts below.

The View From the Stage @ SMODCASTLE

Han Solo Has a Theme Song

Han Solo Has a Theme Song: "

Pumpers like to pump. Pumpers need to pump.

Pumpers like to pump. Pumpers need to pump.: "

Pumpers like to pump. Pumpers need to pump.

"

HACKED! or "How Shawn Was Violated Twice in Three Days By Strangers"

If you know me or if I've ever emailed you before then this morning or last night you may have received the following email:

Hello,

What have you been up to ?

Tell you a good news. At last few days,My friend Jack told me where

was called the  factory of world.All the things is very cheap.

Register to be their members as soon as possible, during this time,

they have discount sales, many surprises are waiting for you.

what's more it is very convenient.

The price of products is great low from there. But very perfect. It’s

incredible!

For example: laptops, cell phone, digital cameras, LCD TV, GPS and so on.

Remarkably,they have a very excellent after-sale service.

You can log on their website

wowdshop.com

I would like you to have a pleasant shopping!

Sincerely yours

The guy didn't even sign a name and clearly his broken English is a dead giveaway that it is NOT me writing this email.

Email hacks are annoying to be sure but I'm especially paranoid now because this past weekend my debit card info was stolen and used in failed attempts to purchase clothes and $30.00 worth of McDonald's. Thankfully the douche-mongers who stole from me were thwarted by the ever-watchful eye of Chase Bank Fraud Prevention.

Now I've changed all passwords to every site I log into as well as sending a report to the police about my debit card. Thankfully I'm usually broke so even if they were successful in stealing my debit account, there's not much for them to get.

Douche-mongers. 

Photo

Photo: "

"

The Hamburgler has changed his M.O. His headaches are getting worse and the only cure is the sweet ketchup-blood that oozes from a freshly stabbed hamburger.

Marvelous Marvel Cats Meme

Marvelous Marvel Cats Meme: "

What started simply as a doodle from artist Katie Cook, took Twitter by storm today (at least for me since I follow a ton of artists). Soon you had artists like Skottie Young doing his rendetions of various cat characters.

I can’t post them all, obviously, but my favorite has to be Catvengers Assemble by Mike Maihack. Vision Kitty is too adorable. Yeah, I said adorable.

"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT TO HUG AND KISS THEM AND LOVE THEM TO PIECES!

Frenchman with amputated limbs swims Channel

Frenchman with amputated limbs swims Channel: "A Frenchman whose limbs were amputated after an accident successfully completes his attempt to swim the English Channel."

An amazing, inspiring story of a guy who would've made a great third base but chose to dedicate his life to swimming the English Channel instead.

(Thanks to my Dad for the million year old classic joke I just re-purposed.)

Last Day of Preproduction or "Why Is Everyone Running Around Like Lunatics"

Sorry for the lack of quality posts the last two days. I was in the car most of yesterday and today we are busy with camera tests and such, so I'm not able to give you a true post once again.

After two weeks of pretty quiet times, today the studio exploded with business. Crew trucks, star trailers, craft services, and much more have populated the parking lot of our once silent studio.

Actors are running about testing. Actresses are filling up our lobby waiting for a casting session to begin. The director, dressed in a nice sports coat and jeans is running about with a harried look on his, usually, smiling face.

It's controlled chaos but with less control than you'd think.

I'll have some stuff to talk about this weekend and very soon a whole mess of stuff to say about my upcoming OGN.

Marijuana Ice Cream - The 420 Times

Marijuana Ice Cream - The 420 Times: "

Daily Mail

Marijuana Ice Cream The 420 Times Marijuana ice cream is not new. Recipes have passed back and forth between pot users since at least the '60s, and directions for an untold number of flavors ... Medical Marijuana Dispensary Offering Far Out Ice Cream FlavorsFOXNews Häagen DAZE: Medicinal marijuana shop in California offers dope-flavoured ice ...Daily Mail Pot Ice Cream - Delicious Dairy Treat Made With Medical Marijuana at Creme de ...Gather.com KGBT-TV -KSBW The Central Coast all 35 news articles »

"YUMMY!"

I've actually had some of this before and it tastes great. I don't usually enjoy edibles because they taste too much like grass to me but the pot ice-cream is both delicious and packed full of THC. If you can find it (the place I got it was in Long Beach) then you should give it a try, if only for the novelty of it.

"That Sounds Like the Best Job" or How I Got A Job Driving Porn Stars

It appears I've opened a can of worms with a recent mention I made on a podcast about my days as a driver for porn stars. The podcast, for those curious, is available HERE.

The story of how I got started doing this is a pretty short one: I had been in LA for about nine months and had been without a steady job for about three. I got a call from an old friend of mine from South Florida (954 represent!) who said she was coming out to L.A. to sign a contract with an Agent.

"Cool. I didn't know you were an actress," I said, "Film or TV?"

"Films. Adult films. I'm a porn star now," she replied.

Let me quickly explain something to you, the term "porn star" is through around a lot in the Adult Film world, mostly by the Talent. You would think that "porn star" would be reserved to describe only the biggest names in XXX movies but you would be wrong. The phrase is almost immediately adopted by these girls before the ink on their contracts is dried and certainly before their first scene is shot. In their world it isn't exclusive to stardom, for them it is their job title. This quickly becomes an ego problem for a lot of these girls. With no term to differentiate a "star" from a "performer" these girls all become "stars" in their minds the moment they create a fake name for themselves.

FUN FACT: A lot of times the AGENT actually comes up with the "stage" name, rather than the performer.

This "star" mentality seems to grow with every new Twitter follower they gain and with it, so grows their ego. The problem with this is that unlike actual "stars" these girls are neither rich or famous, which makes taking shit from them that much harder to handle. And oh BOY do they know how to give shit....I've been cursed at, hit, spit at, laughed at, had doors slammed in my face, been told to go to hell, go fuck myself and drop fucking dead. All by girls who have had less than 5 appearances in a full length (pun intended) porn film.

Back to the point. (Didn't I say this was a short story?) My friend was now a porn star and coming to L.A. She wanted to hang out while she was in town and I agreed to meet her at her agent's office the following afternoon.

The office that I went to was a depressing little rental space in a sad-looking corporate park in Chatsworth, CA. The other businesses in the plaza are somber, financial institutions, which makes for interesting reactions when you pull up with a car full of scantily clad girls and walk through the whole plaza to the office in back. Of course the MALE workers love it and the female employees of the various other offices, seethe. I know some have even gone so far as to call the plaza management and complain about the lack of clothes the girls wear.

The first words I hear when I walk into the Modeling office to meet my friend, Katie Jordin, come out of the mouth of a middle-aged woman who looks like she stepped out of the Real Housewives of Orange County.

"Okay Jon, I got your list of nasty whores. They all said they're nasty and they'll lick all the buttholes you want," she said nonchalantly.

Before I have time to react to this I hear my name called out from across the room and turn my head just in time to see Katie, throw her arms around me for a huge hug. Katie is a tall, skinny brunette with a small bust and a big butt (FUN FACT: She is the star of a movie called Little Miss Big Ass). She's the typical girl-next-door type, with big brown eyes and a pretty smile. She was all smiles that day, excited about the beginning to her new....career.

I was introduced around the office and when I met her agent, Katie said, "Hey....Shawn, you need a job, right?"

"Um....depends."

"They need drivers here. You'd be a great driver because you're nice and not at all creepy," she said as she walked with me to meet the head Agent. "Hey, this is my friend Shawn. He needs a job. He'd be an awesome driver."

The Agent looked me over for a minute and then said, "I got a girl that needs to go downtown tonight at nine. You'll drive her, hang around the area and then bring her back. I'll give you a hundred and fifty, plus gas."

"Okay," I squeaked. This was all happening fast and although I was in a bad spot for money, I was still nervous about agreeing to do this job and starting so soon.

"Do you want to be in porn," he asked without looking up.

I shook my head, "Nope."

"Good. Then you're hired. Don't try to fuck the girls, don't show'em your cock, never accept blowjobs or drugs for rides. Got it?"

I nodded.

"Good. The girl at the front desk will give you the info, now, get out," he said. Katie and I started to leave and then the Agent looked up and said, "no, no....Katie, you stay and shut the door."

Katie waved goodbye, shut the door and that's how I started my two months as a driver for porn stars....

"Free Food and All the Coffee You Can Drink" or "How Shawn Met Alan Thicke" (Part 2)

Covered in a layer of skin colored make-up and more powder than at the bottom of Paris Hilton's purse, I was finally released from the make-up chair and sent down the backstage hallway to an empty dressing room for the extra's to wait in. At this point I was still unclear what I was going to be doing exactly and who I would be doing it with, when the 2nd A.D. entered the room and handed me three pages of the script.

"That's the scene you're in. You have no lines but read it anyway so you're familiar with the sequence when we bring you out to rehearse the scene," she said and left the room.

I flipped through the pages and saw that my character (if you can call it that) was briefly mentioned as standing next to music producer called Simon. Seemed simple enough so I quickly tossed the pages aside and wandered the halls. I passed through the main hall again and noticed that the names on the doors weren't of the actors but of the character's they played. Third door down from mine was marked as the room for "SIMON".

Just as I wondered what actor I would be working with the door to the dressing room opened and there in all his silver-haired glory was ALAN FUCKING THICKE a.k.a. Dr. Jason Seaver. This is a guy that I practically grew up with. My family and I never missed an episode of "Growing Pains" and on many occasions I measured my own father's advice and reactions against what I consider to be one of the finest fictional patriarchs of all time.

"Hey there," he said with an unmistakable I could've picked out of a crowd of cheering fans.

"Oh wow. Mr. Thicke! Hi, I'm Shawn. We're working together today," I tried to say confidently.

He shook my hand firmly and patted me on the back, "looking forward to it buddy," and then he walked into the make-up room to prepare for you scene.

About an hour later we all met on the set to rehearse the scene. Basically I'm pretending to work on a computer and Alan Thicke is pretending to work a mixing board while a band in the other room pretends to play the end of a song. Thicke tells the band they suck and throws them out right as the main characters of the show enter the studio and beg him to listen to their music and represent their band. At one point Thicke is supposed to cross away from the main characters over to where I am so that they can talk amongst themselves, he then walks back to them has a few more lines and the scene ends.

They rehearsed the scene about fifty times. I stood in the background looking busy and then when Alan Thicke walks over to me I pretend to be showing him the "work" I had done on my computer monitor. Like any generous actor, Alan would mime looking at what I was showing him and commenting on the song I was supposed to be editing.

One time towards the end of the rehearsal he crossed back to me and we had the following exchange:

(Alan walks upstage and looks at the monitor Shawn pretends to work on. He leans in close to Shawn's ear and whispers.)

ALAN:  The prop guys gave you a real computer to play with?
SHAWN: Yup. I have no idea what any of this stuff does.
ALAN: You know I have a son who is really into music. He know how to operate all this equipment.
SHAWN: .........you mean Robin Thicke? Like the famous R and B singer?
ALAN: Have you heard of him?
SHAWN: Didn't he get a Grammy nomination?
ALAN: He can even work the big mixing board. Know what all those knobs and buttons do.

(Alan hears his cue, nods to me and walks back to the scene.)


It was an amazingly fun day. It also helped me realize that although acting is fun and certainly was a passion of mine when I was younger, my true love is to write. I sat on that set watching enviously as the producers, writers and assistants sat around the monitors, rewrote scenes on the fly and enjoyed the instant gratification of hearing a live studio audience laugh at their jokes. Someday I'll be there. Someday soon.

The capper of this first day was that I was asked to return to the show and film another episode. My character still doesn't have any lines but that doesn't matter to me. I've had every shit job you can imagine and would gladly quit any of them to play even the smartest part in a film or TV production, in front of or behind the camera. The day is relaxed, fun, the people are nice and you get free food and all the coffee you can drink. What's not to love?

-FIN-


NEXT: SHORTER POSTS!!!! (now with 100% more comedy and 50% less subliminal messages...)

"You Better Get in the Chair" or Shawn Gets Extra Work on a TV Show (Part 1)

When I first moved to L.A. (without a place to live, any money or a job) one of my first orders of business was to go over to Central Casting and add my name to the sea of wannabe actors hoping to get some easy work as a Background Actor. Central Casting is one of the largest Background Casting agencies in L.A. and every week hundreds of actors and actresses turn in their resumes and head-shots, hoping to make some extra money by standing around in the background of a movie or TV show helping to populate the fictional world. It is a thankless job and frustrating for most career actors because you get no lines, no respect and are generally treated like cattle.

I don't want to be an actor. I don't look as background work as beneath me. I see it as an opportunity to get paid while standing around on a movie/TV set, which is infinitely better than working in a gas station, McDonald's or some other boring day-job. That's why I felt no pressure the day I went to Central, handed in my head-shot, resume (with NO film or TV credits) and processing fee (everything costs money here, even trying to get work costs money). I also felt no pressure when I NEVER HEARD A WORD FROM CENTRAL over the next 9 months. In fairness, if you're serious about background acting you can't just turn in your head-shot and walk away. You have to call their hotline everyday and submit yourself for as many roles as you think you'd be good for if you REALLY want to get the work. I never did any of that which is why I never got work and ultimately forgot I was even in their system...until they called me a few weeks ago.

My phone rang. I answered and hear, "Hi, can I speak to Shawn DePasquale please?"

"This is him," I say.

"Hi Shawn this is Jessie over at Central and I'm just wondering if you would be available for Monday and Tuesday of next week," comes the kind voice over the phone.

Now, at the time I was working a job I LOATHED, so even though I actually wasn't free and still didn't really know what this call was about I still said, "Sure."

In retrospect I realize this was stupid. I really didn't know what I was being asked to do, didn't even realize "central" was "Central Casting", but I figured at the time anything had to be better than what I was currently doing, so I inquired further, "What's this for exactly?"

"The show is called I'm In The Band. It's a Disney show. Tapes in front of a live audience. They need you to play the part of a music studio technician. Two days work," he said and then went on to explain the details.

When I hung up the phone I immediately called my current boss to tell him something important had come up and I wouldn't be in the following week for two days. I then went to the closet where I keep my head-shots and double-checked what I looked like in them to make sure I hadn't changed anything since taking the pictures. Luckily I had been growing my beard back for the past month because I am fully bearded in the head-shots and that's certainly the reason they picked me.

The following Monday I arrived at the studio, parked, walked to the gate, got my pass and heading towards Stage 10 where they shoot the show. Along the walk I passed signs for other Disney shows that I was familiar with but had never seen (Suite Life of Zack and Cody!) and finally arrived at Stage 10, sweatier than I wanted to be but still excited for the day.

The studio (and as I've grown to learn, MOST studios) was surprisingly relaxed with their security once you get in the front gate. After I had my lot pass no one looked twice at me or stopped me from walking anywhere. When I finally arrived at Stage 10 I just sort of wandered inside and started to look around at the sets built for the show. The first one I saw was the recording studio where I would later film my scene. It was impressively detailed, complete with a WORKING soundboard, computer with sound mixing software and a separate room for the band complete with large Plexiglas window between the two rooms.

I continued to wander through the sets; past a garage and the full living room/kitchen set that stands in as the main character's house until I reached the end of the stage where a full breakfast buffet had been set up by craft services. It was here that I was finally greeted by another person, the show's 2nd Assistant Director, who introduced herself to me, welcomed me to have as much food as I wanted and then instructed me to sit in the bleachers (where the studio audience would sit that night) until I was called for.

As I loaded my plate with eggs, potatoes, the best bacon I've ever had in my life and a few silver-dollar pancakes, I tried to contain my excitement which was growing in pace with the mountain of food on my Styrofoam plate.On the outside I was just another Extra, happily eating and waiting for my day to begin. Inside I was an overly giddy man-child, thankful this was my job for two days but already depressed that I would have to go back to my REAL job later that week.

A large portion of the rest of the day was spent sitting in the bleachers watching them pre-record several of the scenes that the studio audience would watch while they set up the scenes they shoot live. I broke up this time with several more trips to the craft services area (THEY HAD A SMOOTHIE MACHINE!!!) and a few walks around the studio lot. Finally the 2nd A.D. wrangled myself and the few other actors there who were playing background roles and brought us backstage to get approval by the show's make-up and hair people.

We went through two sets of doors adjacent to the  stage and were led into a large hallway lined with the stars dressing rooms. Loud music blasted from behind each of the doors, creating a cacophony of noise in the hall. The A.D. stopped us at the only open door in the hallway which led into the hair/make-up room.

"I got the extra's here. Can you take a look at hair and make-up?"

The hairdresser stopped what she was doing, glanced up at me and said, "Hair's fine."

The make-up lady stopped what she was doing, glanced up at me, made a face like someone who bit into an onion and said, "Um....you better take a seat."

To be continued.....

NEXT: MAKE UP! LIGHTS! ALAN THICKE!