Seekrit Projects, Sims and Slacking Off or "How I Wasted A Weekend Playing Video Games and Last Minute Lettering"

It's Monday.

It's Monday?!?

Fuck. My weekend flew by and looking back I'm not sure where it went.

That isn't true. I know exactly where it went....to a town called Sunset Valley.

I've been introduced to the world of the SIMS and I have to say I think I have a problem. For years I've heard about these games (mostly from my two younger sisters, HI GIRLS) but never paid them much mind until this weekend.

SIMS 3 was downloaded on Saturday night and by Sunday night at 9pm I had populated an entire household with computer-generated people whose lives are more involved and exciting than my own. This isn't an admission of my pathetic life (actually my life has been highly entertaining and busy over the last few months) but more an admiring of the programmers ability to create a world that I was totally immersed in after only fifteen minutes of game-play. If you've played this game before then I'm sure I'm preaching to the choir but if you haven't and you have a proclivity to these sorts of time-wasters I HIGHLY recommend giving it a shot.

What I SHOULD have been doing all weekend is lettering/editing comics. In fairness, I had a big project on Friday night/Saturday morning that I put a ton or hours into and finished moments before the 11am deadline Saturday morning. Still, that was one of three books I'm juggling right now and although the deadlines for the other two books aren't as tight, I should have been focused on those become my weekdays/nights have been a wash as far as getting any kind of lettering work accomplished.

None of this even takes my writing into account. Finding the time to write, letter, edit, and work my day job has transformed my life into a series of spinning plates on top of long sticks. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I would much prefer to be busy rather than not, but now a new problem of how to juggle all these activities without burning out has appeared.

Priorities become muddled when you're involved with many different passions at once. I'm a writer at heart and in the long run that's where I want to end up, but writing doesn't pay the bills. I love making comics and lettering but that only pays a few bills (READ: NOT MANY). The day job, PAing on a TV show, is what's keeping a roof over my head but isn't exactly where I want my career to stop climbing. On top of all of that there is my love for being lazy, watching too much TV and generally having an aversion to too much structure.

My solution to all of this has been to work really hard on all fronts for a few weeks and then take a two day weekend to complete waste on something inconsequential like playing The Sims 3 all weekend. It is a good life when your biggest problems are to narrow down which fun task you want to accomplish in a week/weekend.

Not sure if all of this makes for a good blog or not, it was just on my mind and need to get out. Sorry if it's not as funny or entertaining as usual (and honestly, how funny or entertaining am I usually?) but sometimes you catch me at an introspective crossroads.

For more silly posts and less ruminations on life and career I would direct you to the new tumblr that my roommate and I have started: http://blazedandneurotic.tumblr.com/

He's the neurotic one, although from just reading this blog post you that might not be clear. I swear I'm not normally this self-reflective.

Last Day of Preproduction or "Why Is Everyone Running Around Like Lunatics"

Sorry for the lack of quality posts the last two days. I was in the car most of yesterday and today we are busy with camera tests and such, so I'm not able to give you a true post once again.

After two weeks of pretty quiet times, today the studio exploded with business. Crew trucks, star trailers, craft services, and much more have populated the parking lot of our once silent studio.

Actors are running about testing. Actresses are filling up our lobby waiting for a casting session to begin. The director, dressed in a nice sports coat and jeans is running about with a harried look on his, usually, smiling face.

It's controlled chaos but with less control than you'd think.

I'll have some stuff to talk about this weekend and very soon a whole mess of stuff to say about my upcoming OGN.

"That Sounds Like the Best Job" or How I Got A Job Driving Porn Stars

It appears I've opened a can of worms with a recent mention I made on a podcast about my days as a driver for porn stars. The podcast, for those curious, is available HERE.

The story of how I got started doing this is a pretty short one: I had been in LA for about nine months and had been without a steady job for about three. I got a call from an old friend of mine from South Florida (954 represent!) who said she was coming out to L.A. to sign a contract with an Agent.

"Cool. I didn't know you were an actress," I said, "Film or TV?"

"Films. Adult films. I'm a porn star now," she replied.

Let me quickly explain something to you, the term "porn star" is through around a lot in the Adult Film world, mostly by the Talent. You would think that "porn star" would be reserved to describe only the biggest names in XXX movies but you would be wrong. The phrase is almost immediately adopted by these girls before the ink on their contracts is dried and certainly before their first scene is shot. In their world it isn't exclusive to stardom, for them it is their job title. This quickly becomes an ego problem for a lot of these girls. With no term to differentiate a "star" from a "performer" these girls all become "stars" in their minds the moment they create a fake name for themselves.

FUN FACT: A lot of times the AGENT actually comes up with the "stage" name, rather than the performer.

This "star" mentality seems to grow with every new Twitter follower they gain and with it, so grows their ego. The problem with this is that unlike actual "stars" these girls are neither rich or famous, which makes taking shit from them that much harder to handle. And oh BOY do they know how to give shit....I've been cursed at, hit, spit at, laughed at, had doors slammed in my face, been told to go to hell, go fuck myself and drop fucking dead. All by girls who have had less than 5 appearances in a full length (pun intended) porn film.

Back to the point. (Didn't I say this was a short story?) My friend was now a porn star and coming to L.A. She wanted to hang out while she was in town and I agreed to meet her at her agent's office the following afternoon.

The office that I went to was a depressing little rental space in a sad-looking corporate park in Chatsworth, CA. The other businesses in the plaza are somber, financial institutions, which makes for interesting reactions when you pull up with a car full of scantily clad girls and walk through the whole plaza to the office in back. Of course the MALE workers love it and the female employees of the various other offices, seethe. I know some have even gone so far as to call the plaza management and complain about the lack of clothes the girls wear.

The first words I hear when I walk into the Modeling office to meet my friend, Katie Jordin, come out of the mouth of a middle-aged woman who looks like she stepped out of the Real Housewives of Orange County.

"Okay Jon, I got your list of nasty whores. They all said they're nasty and they'll lick all the buttholes you want," she said nonchalantly.

Before I have time to react to this I hear my name called out from across the room and turn my head just in time to see Katie, throw her arms around me for a huge hug. Katie is a tall, skinny brunette with a small bust and a big butt (FUN FACT: She is the star of a movie called Little Miss Big Ass). She's the typical girl-next-door type, with big brown eyes and a pretty smile. She was all smiles that day, excited about the beginning to her new....career.

I was introduced around the office and when I met her agent, Katie said, "Hey....Shawn, you need a job, right?"

"Um....depends."

"They need drivers here. You'd be a great driver because you're nice and not at all creepy," she said as she walked with me to meet the head Agent. "Hey, this is my friend Shawn. He needs a job. He'd be an awesome driver."

The Agent looked me over for a minute and then said, "I got a girl that needs to go downtown tonight at nine. You'll drive her, hang around the area and then bring her back. I'll give you a hundred and fifty, plus gas."

"Okay," I squeaked. This was all happening fast and although I was in a bad spot for money, I was still nervous about agreeing to do this job and starting so soon.

"Do you want to be in porn," he asked without looking up.

I shook my head, "Nope."

"Good. Then you're hired. Don't try to fuck the girls, don't show'em your cock, never accept blowjobs or drugs for rides. Got it?"

I nodded.

"Good. The girl at the front desk will give you the info, now, get out," he said. Katie and I started to leave and then the Agent looked up and said, "no, no....Katie, you stay and shut the door."

Katie waved goodbye, shut the door and that's how I started my two months as a driver for porn stars....

"You Better Get in the Chair" or Shawn Gets Extra Work on a TV Show (Part 1)

When I first moved to L.A. (without a place to live, any money or a job) one of my first orders of business was to go over to Central Casting and add my name to the sea of wannabe actors hoping to get some easy work as a Background Actor. Central Casting is one of the largest Background Casting agencies in L.A. and every week hundreds of actors and actresses turn in their resumes and head-shots, hoping to make some extra money by standing around in the background of a movie or TV show helping to populate the fictional world. It is a thankless job and frustrating for most career actors because you get no lines, no respect and are generally treated like cattle.

I don't want to be an actor. I don't look as background work as beneath me. I see it as an opportunity to get paid while standing around on a movie/TV set, which is infinitely better than working in a gas station, McDonald's or some other boring day-job. That's why I felt no pressure the day I went to Central, handed in my head-shot, resume (with NO film or TV credits) and processing fee (everything costs money here, even trying to get work costs money). I also felt no pressure when I NEVER HEARD A WORD FROM CENTRAL over the next 9 months. In fairness, if you're serious about background acting you can't just turn in your head-shot and walk away. You have to call their hotline everyday and submit yourself for as many roles as you think you'd be good for if you REALLY want to get the work. I never did any of that which is why I never got work and ultimately forgot I was even in their system...until they called me a few weeks ago.

My phone rang. I answered and hear, "Hi, can I speak to Shawn DePasquale please?"

"This is him," I say.

"Hi Shawn this is Jessie over at Central and I'm just wondering if you would be available for Monday and Tuesday of next week," comes the kind voice over the phone.

Now, at the time I was working a job I LOATHED, so even though I actually wasn't free and still didn't really know what this call was about I still said, "Sure."

In retrospect I realize this was stupid. I really didn't know what I was being asked to do, didn't even realize "central" was "Central Casting", but I figured at the time anything had to be better than what I was currently doing, so I inquired further, "What's this for exactly?"

"The show is called I'm In The Band. It's a Disney show. Tapes in front of a live audience. They need you to play the part of a music studio technician. Two days work," he said and then went on to explain the details.

When I hung up the phone I immediately called my current boss to tell him something important had come up and I wouldn't be in the following week for two days. I then went to the closet where I keep my head-shots and double-checked what I looked like in them to make sure I hadn't changed anything since taking the pictures. Luckily I had been growing my beard back for the past month because I am fully bearded in the head-shots and that's certainly the reason they picked me.

The following Monday I arrived at the studio, parked, walked to the gate, got my pass and heading towards Stage 10 where they shoot the show. Along the walk I passed signs for other Disney shows that I was familiar with but had never seen (Suite Life of Zack and Cody!) and finally arrived at Stage 10, sweatier than I wanted to be but still excited for the day.

The studio (and as I've grown to learn, MOST studios) was surprisingly relaxed with their security once you get in the front gate. After I had my lot pass no one looked twice at me or stopped me from walking anywhere. When I finally arrived at Stage 10 I just sort of wandered inside and started to look around at the sets built for the show. The first one I saw was the recording studio where I would later film my scene. It was impressively detailed, complete with a WORKING soundboard, computer with sound mixing software and a separate room for the band complete with large Plexiglas window between the two rooms.

I continued to wander through the sets; past a garage and the full living room/kitchen set that stands in as the main character's house until I reached the end of the stage where a full breakfast buffet had been set up by craft services. It was here that I was finally greeted by another person, the show's 2nd Assistant Director, who introduced herself to me, welcomed me to have as much food as I wanted and then instructed me to sit in the bleachers (where the studio audience would sit that night) until I was called for.

As I loaded my plate with eggs, potatoes, the best bacon I've ever had in my life and a few silver-dollar pancakes, I tried to contain my excitement which was growing in pace with the mountain of food on my Styrofoam plate.On the outside I was just another Extra, happily eating and waiting for my day to begin. Inside I was an overly giddy man-child, thankful this was my job for two days but already depressed that I would have to go back to my REAL job later that week.

A large portion of the rest of the day was spent sitting in the bleachers watching them pre-record several of the scenes that the studio audience would watch while they set up the scenes they shoot live. I broke up this time with several more trips to the craft services area (THEY HAD A SMOOTHIE MACHINE!!!) and a few walks around the studio lot. Finally the 2nd A.D. wrangled myself and the few other actors there who were playing background roles and brought us backstage to get approval by the show's make-up and hair people.

We went through two sets of doors adjacent to the  stage and were led into a large hallway lined with the stars dressing rooms. Loud music blasted from behind each of the doors, creating a cacophony of noise in the hall. The A.D. stopped us at the only open door in the hallway which led into the hair/make-up room.

"I got the extra's here. Can you take a look at hair and make-up?"

The hairdresser stopped what she was doing, glanced up at me and said, "Hair's fine."

The make-up lady stopped what she was doing, glanced up at me, made a face like someone who bit into an onion and said, "Um....you better take a seat."

To be continued.....

NEXT: MAKE UP! LIGHTS! ALAN THICKE!