"Free Food and All the Coffee You Can Drink" or "How Shawn Met Alan Thicke" (Part 2)

Covered in a layer of skin colored make-up and more powder than at the bottom of Paris Hilton's purse, I was finally released from the make-up chair and sent down the backstage hallway to an empty dressing room for the extra's to wait in. At this point I was still unclear what I was going to be doing exactly and who I would be doing it with, when the 2nd A.D. entered the room and handed me three pages of the script.

"That's the scene you're in. You have no lines but read it anyway so you're familiar with the sequence when we bring you out to rehearse the scene," she said and left the room.

I flipped through the pages and saw that my character (if you can call it that) was briefly mentioned as standing next to music producer called Simon. Seemed simple enough so I quickly tossed the pages aside and wandered the halls. I passed through the main hall again and noticed that the names on the doors weren't of the actors but of the character's they played. Third door down from mine was marked as the room for "SIMON".

Just as I wondered what actor I would be working with the door to the dressing room opened and there in all his silver-haired glory was ALAN FUCKING THICKE a.k.a. Dr. Jason Seaver. This is a guy that I practically grew up with. My family and I never missed an episode of "Growing Pains" and on many occasions I measured my own father's advice and reactions against what I consider to be one of the finest fictional patriarchs of all time.

"Hey there," he said with an unmistakable I could've picked out of a crowd of cheering fans.

"Oh wow. Mr. Thicke! Hi, I'm Shawn. We're working together today," I tried to say confidently.

He shook my hand firmly and patted me on the back, "looking forward to it buddy," and then he walked into the make-up room to prepare for you scene.

About an hour later we all met on the set to rehearse the scene. Basically I'm pretending to work on a computer and Alan Thicke is pretending to work a mixing board while a band in the other room pretends to play the end of a song. Thicke tells the band they suck and throws them out right as the main characters of the show enter the studio and beg him to listen to their music and represent their band. At one point Thicke is supposed to cross away from the main characters over to where I am so that they can talk amongst themselves, he then walks back to them has a few more lines and the scene ends.

They rehearsed the scene about fifty times. I stood in the background looking busy and then when Alan Thicke walks over to me I pretend to be showing him the "work" I had done on my computer monitor. Like any generous actor, Alan would mime looking at what I was showing him and commenting on the song I was supposed to be editing.

One time towards the end of the rehearsal he crossed back to me and we had the following exchange:

(Alan walks upstage and looks at the monitor Shawn pretends to work on. He leans in close to Shawn's ear and whispers.)

ALAN:  The prop guys gave you a real computer to play with?
SHAWN: Yup. I have no idea what any of this stuff does.
ALAN: You know I have a son who is really into music. He know how to operate all this equipment.
SHAWN: .........you mean Robin Thicke? Like the famous R and B singer?
ALAN: Have you heard of him?
SHAWN: Didn't he get a Grammy nomination?
ALAN: He can even work the big mixing board. Know what all those knobs and buttons do.

(Alan hears his cue, nods to me and walks back to the scene.)


It was an amazingly fun day. It also helped me realize that although acting is fun and certainly was a passion of mine when I was younger, my true love is to write. I sat on that set watching enviously as the producers, writers and assistants sat around the monitors, rewrote scenes on the fly and enjoyed the instant gratification of hearing a live studio audience laugh at their jokes. Someday I'll be there. Someday soon.

The capper of this first day was that I was asked to return to the show and film another episode. My character still doesn't have any lines but that doesn't matter to me. I've had every shit job you can imagine and would gladly quit any of them to play even the smartest part in a film or TV production, in front of or behind the camera. The day is relaxed, fun, the people are nice and you get free food and all the coffee you can drink. What's not to love?

-FIN-


NEXT: SHORTER POSTS!!!! (now with 100% more comedy and 50% less subliminal messages...)

Back and Better Than Ever: Now With 25% Less Lung Tar!

Hello friends, remember me?

I know it’s been a while but allow me to explain my absence. On Wednesday of last week I started to feel very tired and my body very sore. At first i assumed it was one of many signs that I quit smoking cigarettes once and for all, so I finished the last of my pack Wednesday afternoon and vowed never to buy another one. As the day progressed I began to feel worse, not only tired and achy but also chilled to the bone.

Around 9pm on Wednesday night I was so cold that I was shivering. My teeth were actually clattering together and my shoulders were so tight that I had started to get a headache from the pressure. I went to bed bundled in sweatpants, long sleeve T-shirt and a hoodie.

3am – Thursday morning I woke up covered in sweat with a pounding migraine. I drank about four glasses of cold water, started shivering again and promptly went back to sleep under the covers, praying for the warmth of the fever to come back and make the shivering subside.

I spent most of Thursday repeating the above until I finally felt well enough to crawl out of bed and shiver my way to Walgreens. I shuffled though the isles like a zombie in a refrigerator, teeth chattering, making slight involuntary moans as waves of icey-coldness traveled from my feet to the nape of my neck and back again and trying to control the involuntary spasms my body was making thanks to the hiccups that started when I got out of bed.  It took me a good fifteen minutes to focus on the wall of medicine and another ten to figure out which one would be best for me. In the end I bought extra strength Tylenol, Motrin and Emergen-C. On my way out of the store I grabbed two bottles of blue Gatorade and held my breath (so as not to hiccup anymore) as the lady behind the counter slowly scanned my items.

Getting back home was maybe the best thing that’s ever happened to me in my entire life. I dragged my package of medicinal-products behind me like a wounded soldier pulling a recently detached limb off the battlefield. I’m pretty sure it took me ten minutes to open the door to the apartment and then once I was inside I had to fight the urge to crawl into bed just long enough to take some of the medicine I’d purchased.

Then sleeeeeeep. The most peaceful sleep you can imagine. I woke up around 6:30pm that night, groggy and unsure of what day or time it was. My phone rang and my buddy Rob announced he was coming over because we had plans to watch the BBC superhero TV show, The Misfits. Rob, being the Saint that he is, arrived about an hour later with soup, Thera-flu and Nyquil. I took the newly acquired meds, drank some of the soup and watched Misfits, barely able to follow the show or enjoy my company thanks to all the various drugs at work in my system fighting off whatever terrible flu-bug had invaded my body. When the show was over i thanked Rob again and crawled back into bed.

I must’ve been exhausted because when I woke up on Friday morning I noticed that I had left the front door unlocked and the lights in the apartment were all turned on. I was feeling a bit better though and a ton of lettering work had come in while I was out of it so I spent most of Friday alternating between computer time and nap time.

Saturday rolled around and I was in a lot better shape, my appetite came back a bit so after sleeping in I dressed myself (still unbelievably cold)  and ventured out to Trader Joe’s™ for some food shopping. I returned home and cooked myself a delicious meal of chicken, broccoli and pasta devouring it as if I’d been starving in a Fat Kid camp all summer long and then sat down to finish up one of the lettering projects that had stacked up since Wednesday.

Today, Sunday, I’m happy to report I feel much better (almost 100%) and that my sickness has morphed into a deep cough and a bit of congestion. I haven’t had a cigarette at all and when I do cough I expel a gray/black substance that I can only assume is a bit of the damage I’ve done to my lungs. Sexy, isn’t it?

Okay, all this typing and thinking has all but worn me out. Time to shower, do a bit of exercise and eat some breakfast. Now that I’m back expect a full week of updates and nonsense. Hope you all had a better past few days than I did. Stay well, wash your hands.

Turn Off The Lights Before You Go

My thoughts and prayers are with you tonight. Words really cannot express feelings in times like these and I almost feel cheap even attempting to write something right now but this is where the Muse has guided me so…

We may never know why things happen the way they do. Generally the mysteries of the Universe don’t reveal themselves. Everyday people die seemingly without meaning or cause and the people left behind search for something to tell themselves. They look for some hidden meaning behind it all or some clue that might help them rationalize the irrational and put everything back into perspective. Perhaps the answer is there all along and much simpler than we imagine.

A train in Russia derails and many people die. The people left behind, the ones who have now “lost someone”, might never know why Fate guided Death’s hand to that particular train on that particular day.

A sportswriter takes in own life. The reasons behind this final act might seem obvious to some but not to those closest to him.

A truck driver is dead after his pick-up truck is found submerged in a creek. Police believe an underlining medical condition may have caused the accident but I guarantee his family will still, in their grief, continuously ask “why?”

A business report, 52, succumbs to a long-running heart-related illness. His family and friends were all aware of this condition yet none of them expected the end to happen so soon, so swiftly.

Why?

Life is hard. Life isn’t always fun. The world is mean and cruel, often worse to some than to others. We complain and bitch. We hate and grumble. Then something happens. Something sudden. Something worse than the mundane occurrences we find ourselves annoyed with and suddenly life has meaning. Suddenly,  in spite of our usual protests, life is important and needs to be cherished.

I’m as guilty as anyone else of taking it all for granted. I curse the day I was born maybe more than I should. I think about how hard and cruel life can be and secretly day-dream that it would be easier not being here at all but the reality is I’m grateful for every breath I take and even more grateful for the every breath the people I love take.

 

A girl dies in a hospital.

A friend tries to hold back tears.

The Muse guides me to my desk and demands I write. I don’t know what will come out and I don’t know why I’m compelled but I obey.

Many people died today that I never met but through the eyes of people close to me I can see the pain death causes. I can feel it like a kick to the gut. So here I am writing about nothing and everything all in the same breath.

Find someone you love. Tell them. Hold them. Then hold them just a little bit longer. Life is short and delicate.

You’re in my thoughts and my heart. You know who you are.

THANKSGIVING DAY EXTRAVAGANZA!

Yes my friends it’s that time of year when American’s across this Nation get together with their friends and families to stuff themselves past the point of comfort. We watch parades on the TV and marvel at the great technology that allows us to make enormous replicas of our favorite cartoon characters and then fill them with hot air and drag them around our favorite major metropolis. There are many traditions on this day but none of them do I like more than explaining what we’re thankful for.

I’m sure your family does something similar: Everyone is sitting around the table covered in gravy and the remains of some helpless bird when the head of the family (in my case it was Mom who would always start) looks around and asks, “So, what is everyone thankful for this year?”

Since this is my first year far enough away from my family that i can’t drive home for the holiday I figured I’d still play along at home. So, Mom, if you read this, print it out and read the following when you go around the table this year:

What am I thankful for? There’s actually a lot but when I start to go over it all in my head I realized that all the things I have to be thankful for came down to two people, my parents. Without them I wouldn’t exist. I’m not just talking about them doin’ it and having Baby Shawn. I’m talking about their unending support and unconditional love. I think I was a good kid but I know I wasn’t easy. I never took the path of least resistance with anything I’ve done. If it was a mountain to climb I somehow found myself at the bottom of it. I picked a career that makes no promises. Sure, potentially i could make it big as a writer/creator and live the good life but let us be honest, those chances are slim. Still, my parents never stop encouraging me to follow my dream. They continuously give me emotional and monetary support whenever I need it. The latter being a big deal because they are by no means rich. I tell them how much they mean to me as often as I can but still feel it’s not enough. Without them I don’t think I would be the person I am. I wouldn’t have the confidence it takes to face daily rejection as a writer. I wouldn’t have the sense of humor it takes to stay light even when faced with the insurmountable debt I face because I’m out of work. I wouldn’t have made it though some of the dark times in my life over the past two years without the foundation they built within me. Maybe it’s because I’m so far away that I’m feeling so mushy (and I apologize if this isn’t the silly diatribe you were expecting to read)but I needed to get this out there. My parents, and I think ALL parents, are crucial to who I am. A lot of my friends have nice parents and a lot of them don’t but no one has parents like mine. They are one of a kind and I wouldn’t trade them in for anything. I’d say that 60% of my will to survive and make a place for myself out here in LA-LA Land comes from my desire to finally be able to show them it was all worth it. To thank them in front of the world for being the greatest two people to ever fuck and make a baby would make me just about as happy as i could ever imagine feeling. Since I haven’t made it to that level yet this blog will have to suffice. So, one last time, thanks Mom and Dad for literally everything I have and will get in this life.

As for the rest of you I’m thankful to have any readers at all let alone the support that I’ve gotten over the last few months. My new friends on twitter, my Reel Big Fish friends who came for that article but have stuck around and my facebook friends who put up with my stream of conscious updates and constant shilling of my blog I owe you all a ton of gratitude. It really means a lot to me that you care and that I can provide you with some kind of semi-entertaining content.

On that note I’ll urge you all to go eat a shit load of food, get really sleepy and, right before your eyes roll up in your head and you drift off into a tryptophan-induced coma, find the person (or people) who mean the most to you and thank them from the bottom of your heart for being there.

Also try not to get killed on Black Friday. :)

 

I’ll be back Monday with the usual chicanery and nonsense or as my buddy Dave recently said, “To blog the fuck out of shit.”

Happy Thanksgiving everybody.

Where the Hell Has The Time Gone?

It's been a long time since I last blogged. Last I left off I was embarking on the long trek to Los Angeles, CA by way of my car. There are a ton of pictures from that trip and some very interesting blog posts that I could write about (who knows maybe someday I will) but for now we're skipping ahead to the present day.

It's October 30th 2009 and I've been living in LA for almost FIVE MONTHS. I found a job doing temp work in a doctor's office, which has been a great way to get paid but not creatively fulfilling in the least. I work with a variety of people: women to young to have children but already have three, tall Hispanic men that speak mumbled English and middle-aged mid-western women who have big hair, big thighs and loud voices. The office is pretty busy, housing three doctors who are all Internal Medicine practitioners as well as Nephrology specialists (if you don't know what a Nephrologist is I hear there's this amazing thing called a "Google" that answers your questions, mostly accurately, on this series of tubes called the Internet).

The day job has kept me afloat these last few months and allowed me a lot of free time to work on my own stuff when I'm not in the office. I've been taking on a lot of lettering projects, over-seeing the (slow but awesome) development of my graphic novel "Detectives In Space" (DUE OUT.....er....I don't know, I'll do a whole separate post about the current status of DIS), writing a tv pilot, shopping another pilot, working on several screenplays and putting some final edits on a script was waaaaaaay back. Needless to say I keep busy but still find time to watch a lot (too much) of TV, movies and comics (technically reading but whatever). So I figured I'd use this unusually light day do one of my favorite blog tricks: Bullet points!

• Paranormal Activity/Saw VI - The former was a huge chunk of crap. It was boring beyond belief, not scary and, worst of all, horribly written/improved. I don't usually flat out slam a movie, if I hate it I just never speak or think of it again, but this movie is the exception. Maybe it's all the hype surrounding it. Maybe it's because people kept telling me it was going to be better than Blair Witch (I hated that movie but found it actually much more enjoyable than Activity was). On the flip-side sits SAW VI, here's a movie I NEVER thought I'd enjoy. I watched all the films just before the summer and, while I like the first I felt they got successively dumber and harder to watch due to the excessive gore. When I went in for Saw VI I was expecting to watch the whole movie with my hands over my eyes during the torture and my head spinning during the "story" parts. I was wrong (oh shit, I think a pig just flew by my window) this movie was the MOST enjoyable of the series to date. Sure it was waaay to on the nose with the Financial metaphors but it was fun and lite and NEVER took itself to seriously.
  
• TV- In the time away from the blog the summer ended and the great FALL TV SEASON is once again upon us and moving along nicely. I have some shows I love and I'd like to recommend them to you now (in no particular order): Modern Family (the best sitcom of the season - it is a comedy with a ton of heart), Community (discovered how great this is last night and now I'm hooked), Fringe Season 2 (much improved from the first run of episodes. The best stuff moves the larger story along but the stand-alone installments are getting better), Dexter (this is the best season yet, this show gets better with every single episode ever since season 1 episode 2).
  
• The Muppet Movies - recently re-watched all the films. It's VERY CLEAR at what point Henson died and his son, Brian, took over. Not that the Brian Henson run films are bad (I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE A Muppet Christmas Carol) they just don't have the same feel as the films his father was making. If you haven't seen them in a while I highly recommend re-watching all these films (even the post-JH ones)

Tonight is Devil's Night, a holiday I didn't even know existed until I saw a movie that would become I favorite of mine, The Crow. This is a classic revenge flick, years before Uma Thurman would try to Kill Bill, Eric Draven clawed his way out of his grave to avenge the brutal murder of his girlfriend, Shelly. I would request you all curl up tonight in your favorite movie watchin' spots, rest up for a night of Halloween fun by watching The Crow. You can thank me later.

Enjoy!