Hollywood Are You Retarded?

Seriously.

If you were anywhere on the internet today then I’m sure you heard about the official release of pictures from the Karate Kid remake. If not you can go: HERE

Looks okay, right? Sure why not. Here’s the part that has me confused:

Jaden Smith plays Dre, a skateboarding video game buff who is forced to move to China after his single mother (Taraji P. Henson) is forced to transfer to the China for work. Of course, unable to speak Chinese, Dre finds it hard to settle in, and gets beat up by the local bully. Jackie Chan plays Mr. Han (the Mr. Miyagi character), a maintenance man who spots Dre’s black-eye and offers to teach him both martial arts and Chinese, so he can defend against the students of Li Quan Ha’s Fighting dragon school of Kung-Fu. Directed by Harald Zwart (The Pink Panther 2) and written by Chris Murphy and Steven Conrad (The Pursuit of Happyness). The Karate Kid will hit theaters on June 11th 2010.

What’s wrong with the above? Can you spot it? Let me help.

Karate is from Japan.

Jaden Smith plays Dre, a skateboarding video game buff who is forced to move to China after his single mother (Taraji P. Henson) is forced to transfer to China for work.

So then he meets Jackie Chan who is also from China. Who knows Kung-Fu, the martial art from CHINA. What does Jackie Chan do?

offers to teach him both martial arts and Chinese, so he can defend against the students of Li Quan Ha’s Fighting dragon school of Kung-Fu.

That’s right…teaches him to fight against a KUNG-FU school.

Now I understand the need to remake movies (built in audience, name recognition) but at least TRY  to make some fucking sense while doing it.