Sunday, December 20, 2009

This Gigantic Robot Kills - MC Lars

MC LARS - This gigantic robot kills lyrics
Send "This gigantic robot kills" Ringtone to your Cell

Billy built a robot in his parent's garage,
because he had a list of problems that he needed to solve.
He said, "I'm sick of the Hills, Laguna Beach is fake and whack.
Let's party like it's '96 and bring the horn section back."

Back before Gwen Stefani started rapping with Pharrell.
Gas cost $1.15 and Goldfinger could sell.
When reality TV wasn't scripted or contrived.
The brass was phat and bumpin' and the beats were all played live.

See, Billy was obsessed with 3rd wave ska.
The Mighty Bosstones, Reel Big Fish, Less Than Jake, he'd seen them all.
He longed for a time when even Bill Clinton played the sax,
on the white house lawn, and kids wore shades and checkered slacks.

So Billy sits back
In the class and labs.
Put a notebook on his lap.
'Cuz he plans a task
to make a giant robot.
How's that?
And bring the real Orange County back.

This gigantic robot kills.
He's gonna come down the block, he's gonna fire at will.
He's got a cannon on his shoulder and a laser in his hand.
He's gonna win the day for Billy, make the city understand.

The robot was completed and it opened up its eyes,
weighing 700 pounds, and standing 8 foot 5.
With his black coat, white shoes, black hat, set to attack,
the robot headed to the hills to give those spoiled kids a smack.

Christoph Leary got knocked flat
as Billy bumped the Aquabats.
He ripped out Mischa Barton's spine
to crank Save Ferris and Sublime.
He burnt down Heidi Montag's home
and to blast the OC Supertones.
His scream was smashing LC's head.
Ska is not dead.

This gigantic robot kills.
He's gonna come down the block, he's gonna fire at will.
He's blasting bullets from his elbows, shooting missiles from his eyes.
He's gonna win the day for Billy, take the OC by surprise.

He'll make you do the macerena
as you rock your Tamagachi,
with your Newton down in Woodstock,
playing Sega la-di-da-di.
He brought the 90's back,
and then he freed Tibet.
If you can't find his jam on Napster then the warehouse sells cassettes.
(Old school)

Gigantic (he was)
Gigantic (this robot)
Gigantic (so very)
Gigantic (ska robot)

This gigantic robot kills.
He's gonna come down the block, he's gonna fire at will.
He's got a cannon on his shoulder and a laser in his hand.
He's gonna win the day for Billy, make the city understand.

This gigantic robot kills.
He's gonna come down the block, he's gonna fire at will.
He's blasting bullets from his elbows, shooting missiles from his eyes.
He's gonna win the day for Billy, take the whole world by surprise.

Ska is not dead.

Three 6 Mafia Feat. Dj Unk - I'd Rather.

OSCAR WINNERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Steampunk menorah

Steampunk menorah: "

My pal Roger Wood, the mad clock sculptor of Klockwerks.com, really puts the 'Ch' back in 'Channukah' with this steampunk menorah.


(via Cribcandy)



Sunday, December 6, 2009

Back and Better Than Ever: Now With 25% Less Lung Tar!

Hello friends, remember me?

I know it’s been a while but allow me to explain my absence. On Wednesday of last week I started to feel very tired and my body very sore. At first i assumed it was one of many signs that I quit smoking cigarettes once and for all, so I finished the last of my pack Wednesday afternoon and vowed never to buy another one. As the day progressed I began to feel worse, not only tired and achy but also chilled to the bone.

Around 9pm on Wednesday night I was so cold that I was shivering. My teeth were actually clattering together and my shoulders were so tight that I had started to get a headache from the pressure. I went to bed bundled in sweatpants, long sleeve T-shirt and a hoodie.

3am – Thursday morning I woke up covered in sweat with a pounding migraine. I drank about four glasses of cold water, started shivering again and promptly went back to sleep under the covers, praying for the warmth of the fever to come back and make the shivering subside.

I spent most of Thursday repeating the above until I finally felt well enough to crawl out of bed and shiver my way to Walgreens. I shuffled though the isles like a zombie in a refrigerator, teeth chattering, making slight involuntary moans as waves of icey-coldness traveled from my feet to the nape of my neck and back again and trying to control the involuntary spasms my body was making thanks to the hiccups that started when I got out of bed.  It took me a good fifteen minutes to focus on the wall of medicine and another ten to figure out which one would be best for me. In the end I bought extra strength Tylenol, Motrin and Emergen-C. On my way out of the store I grabbed two bottles of blue Gatorade and held my breath (so as not to hiccup anymore) as the lady behind the counter slowly scanned my items.

Getting back home was maybe the best thing that’s ever happened to me in my entire life. I dragged my package of medicinal-products behind me like a wounded soldier pulling a recently detached limb off the battlefield. I’m pretty sure it took me ten minutes to open the door to the apartment and then once I was inside I had to fight the urge to crawl into bed just long enough to take some of the medicine I’d purchased.

Then sleeeeeeep. The most peaceful sleep you can imagine. I woke up around 6:30pm that night, groggy and unsure of what day or time it was. My phone rang and my buddy Rob announced he was coming over because we had plans to watch the BBC superhero TV show, The Misfits. Rob, being the Saint that he is, arrived about an hour later with soup, Thera-flu and Nyquil. I took the newly acquired meds, drank some of the soup and watched Misfits, barely able to follow the show or enjoy my company thanks to all the various drugs at work in my system fighting off whatever terrible flu-bug had invaded my body. When the show was over i thanked Rob again and crawled back into bed.

I must’ve been exhausted because when I woke up on Friday morning I noticed that I had left the front door unlocked and the lights in the apartment were all turned on. I was feeling a bit better though and a ton of lettering work had come in while I was out of it so I spent most of Friday alternating between computer time and nap time.

Saturday rolled around and I was in a lot better shape, my appetite came back a bit so after sleeping in I dressed myself (still unbelievably cold)  and ventured out to Trader Joe’s™ for some food shopping. I returned home and cooked myself a delicious meal of chicken, broccoli and pasta devouring it as if I’d been starving in a Fat Kid camp all summer long and then sat down to finish up one of the lettering projects that had stacked up since Wednesday.

Today, Sunday, I’m happy to report I feel much better (almost 100%) and that my sickness has morphed into a deep cough and a bit of congestion. I haven’t had a cigarette at all and when I do cough I expel a gray/black substance that I can only assume is a bit of the damage I’ve done to my lungs. Sexy, isn’t it?

Okay, all this typing and thinking has all but worn me out. Time to shower, do a bit of exercise and eat some breakfast. Now that I’m back expect a full week of updates and nonsense. Hope you all had a better past few days than I did. Stay well, wash your hands.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

The Rapture - Echoes (Live)

Been loving this song so much. It's being used as the opening theme to the British series "The Misfits" but here, in a live performance it's even better. Listen to that sax!

Trauma: Helicopter and Morphine

I know, I know.

“Shawn, this is the second time you’re writing about this terribly cheese show.”

I know but, you guys, come on, this is one of the greatest shows to watch and just click off your brain. Reality TV has nothing on this shit. First off you’ve got a bunch of easy to remember characters. Not memorable but so easy to remember: Black Paramedic, Gay Paramedic (they are partners), Rabbit the Pilot and Hot Co-Pilot, Blonde Medic and Mc’Medic (he’s the Mc’Dreamy type guy. Most of the episodes have many zany and perilous accidents occurring that these guys respond to but sometimes the writers like to toss in a character building episode or something to shake things up a bit. For example, this week A DYING MAN STOLE THEIR HELICOPTER.

The story stars like this:

Blonde Medic and Rabbit are screwing. They go to work, same job but different partners. They are anxious to keep their relationship secret but also want to be reunited at the end of the day.

It is the definition of must-see TV. The show manages to just barely skate the line between shock and schlock. So Gay Medic, Rabbit and the Hot Co-Pilot (portrayed by actress Aimee Garcia, highlighted in this episode for the first time, her performance is…she’s a very pretty actress) chase after the stolen helicopter, while Blonde Medic and hunky Mc’Medic have some drugs stolen for them.

A street con-man who manages to steal the keys to the medicine cabinet on the truck so her can pocket four bottles of morphine, but not before performing a a fabulous David-Blaine-like card trick (STREE MAGIC!) on the bumbling pair of paramedics.

These two stories are connected by the timeless Fish-Out-Of-Water set-up, for you see, the Chief is on vacation and the Black Paramedic is filling in. Of course everything that can go wrong does and he wonders “How come on the one day I’m in charge…” it’s fabulous. The guy is like a Dark Chocolate Charlie Brown and the day is his Lucy holding the football. Oh man, good times.

You should be able to catch the show on Hulu starting this after noon. If I remember I’ll link it but if not just go to GOOGLE and type in HULU. See it, watch it, love it.